Mal and Millie

We are having a fantastic and exhausting (we're doing a big Christmas project, I'll post pics when it's done) time here in Idaho. The girls are LOVING it and Jane has really turned a corner. In June, she ran from Grandpa and cried. Now she's told him she loves him a few times and he's even gotten a few kisses. It's been nice for them all to have the opportunity to get to know my kids and for my kids to have the space to learn to love them.

Here's the classic "let's put the baby cousins on the couch and take a picture" picture. I have one of me and my cousin Scott who was a month younger than me. Although you can't tell from this pic, they were totally checking each other out and smiling and "talking." Mal is amazing, her spirit is so strong and she just speaks volumes through her eyes and it's crazy how keenly she recognizes people. I have really loved getting to know her the last few days.

Family is good.

Also, I read "I'll Love You Forever" today to Jane, even though it was missing a few pages. It was actually a book I bought from a book order (remember those?) when I was in second grade or something. I heard some adults talking about how it made them cry. I remember getting it, reading it, and thinking "big deal." In fact, even at 8 I was critical of the syntax and styling of the refrain:

I'll love you forever

I'll like you for always

as long as I'm living

my baby you'll be.

This time? Totally bawled. But I was still incredulous that the old mom climbs the ladder to her boy's house when he's all grown up. Ask me when my kids grow up if I'll climb a ladder to look at them sleeping at night. Maybe I'll totally bawl then, too.

Spiders

For some reason, Jane has been into spiders lately. I don't know why or who she got it from, we've been with a lot of family for the last week. Yesterday she wanted to draw them during church. This morning, the first thing she said (besides "I have to go potty") was:

"Mommy! Baby Jesus born on Christmas! Then he draw spiders. Baby Jesus likes to draw spiders!"

No idea.

Christmas Dresses 2010

To say that I like to craft, create, sew is a bit of an understatement. Having kids and a house (an apartment counts!) of my own has added more fun to it. Throw on top the sweet memories I have of my own mother laboring over things, mostly dresses, and you have a rather keen desire of my own to make Christmas dresses.

My mom is quite gifted at sewing clothing and following and adapting patterns. For whatever reason, sewing from a pattern sort of freaks me out and sewing clothing is intimidating. Good thing I had my mom right there as I made these beauties for my darlings. The other thing I wanted to do was not spend any money. Thanks to my mother's large (again, a huge understatement) fabric stash, I didn't spend a cent!

With the guidance of my mom, we picked a pattern that wasn't too difficult and fabric she knew would work well and be easy to work with (the blue/purple plaid taffeta is at least 10 years old, my youngest sister had a dress out of it when she was a kiddo). I didn't follow a pattern for the shrugs and I made the rosettes, headbands, and hairbows. There's no way I could have done it on such a short time frame without my mom to help, both with the sewing and with babysitting. She knew how important it was to me and I ended up having 6 hours total in one day where I had no kids to care for where I wasn't also sleeping. That's a first since I became a mommy! It was a delightful day!

Christmas Letter 2010

Again, I wish I could have sent this out to SO many more people than we actually could afford to. Honestly, I probably shouldn't have sent any out. But I had bought the paper and cards on clearance last year and I had a coupon for the photos. But still. Anyway, the point is, there were so many people we didn't get to send a hard copy to, and as much as I love this digital age, I can't be convinced to go digital with Christmas Cards. It's just not the same. So, here is our just-not-the-same-digital-Christmas Card this year.

Boy do I love Photoshop Elements! Best Mother's Day Present EVER. I also heart free digital scrapbooking kits.


Here's the Letter:

As 2010 draws to a close, we find ourselves once again looking forward with faith into the unknown and back in weary relief! We’re almost done! We still don’t know from where we will be writing next year’s letter but we are grateful for what this place and this year has taught us and brought us.

ERIC has had quite the range of experiences at Minnesota. Besides classes, Eric has done volunteering for Legal Aid, teaching in an inner-city classroom via Street Law, clerking for a small family law firm downtown, and advocating for low-income clients at the Tax clinic. His life has been full of the law. He’s loved it, but he’s ready for it to be full of other things, too. So are his girls who love every minute with him.

MARCEE’s body had a rough year. A possible herniated disc loomed over her pregnancy but she made it through the nine months and delivery with her sanity and discs intact. An MRI this fall showed three bulging discs but no nerve impingement. After lots of gym time and physical therapy, she’s seen less pain and more mobility and is excited at the prospect of being nearly normal soon (knock on wood)! She’s also started swimming for exercise and is on track to swim a mile before 2011 starts.

JANE has been busy this year—she mastered walking and moved on to “fast-ing” (running), dancing, and jumping with both feet off the ground. She grew enough hair to actually have it cut, sleeps in a big-girl bed, is potty-trained, and speaks in complete paragraphs. We laugh daily at what comes out of her mouth. She loves music, the snow, drawing, stories, tools, blocks and legos, pretend, cooking, and her baby sister. It has been an unanticipated joy watching them interact and the love they already have for each other.

EMILINE RHYS joined our family on May 28, a week after her due date. From the beginning, she’s been eager to look at the world around her. At 6+ months she measures 75^th percentile across the board, weighing just over 17 lbs. She is sitting up, sleeping through the night, falling asleep on her own, and just started solids. She loves Peek-A-Boo and Patty Cake, kicking, screeching, anything she can get in her mouth, and watching Jane. She’s such a happy, social baby and so beautiful to us with no teeth, almost no hair, and the best grin. We can’t wait to discover more about her as she learns and grows.

We have missed so many of you these last few years and hope that we’ll see more of you soon. In the meantime, since it’s been so long, get to know us again with these get to know you questions:

Favorite color
ERIC: Blue
MARCEE: Purple
JANE: Orange
EMILINE: Milky

What was the last thing you read?
ERIC: Advocating for Low-Income Tax Payers: A Clinical Studies Casebook
MARCEE: Just Two More Bites: Helping Picky Eaters Say Yes to Food
JANE: Dr. Seuss’s ABC Book
EMILINE: Where’s Spot?

Do you have a nickname?
ERIC: Daddy. Honey. And if Jane gets no response she resorts to “Er-ic!”
MARCEE: Mommy.
JANE: Jane-girl.
EMILINE: Mommy is pushing for Millie but it hasn’t stuck yet.

How do you spend your free time?
ERIC: “Putting my girls to bed.”
MARCEE: “Either writing, sewing, or painting. Or sleeping.”
JANE: Drawing—at the moment lots of balloons, letters, rainbows, and houses.
EMILINE: Emptying a container one item at a time then fussing when it is empty.

What are you best at?
ERIC: Marcee says “thoroughness, caring, silly nerdiness, and relaxing.”
MARCEE: Eric says “being creative in ideas for lessons, presents, and ways to help family.”
JANE: Jane says “twirling in my house! Round and round and round and round!”
EMILINE: Jane says “playing with the circle blocks.”

Sleep Rules

I read about Sleep Rules in "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" a while ago now. I can't remember if it was pre or post baby...strange that's how I've been marking time, all though now I honestly can't remember. Anywho, it's been on the list to post about the amazingtudeness of Sleep Rules for awhile now, because it works fantastically for us.

Pre Sleep Rules:
We'd do the routine: stories, song, bed. Jane would sit in her crib and talk and sing for at least an hour, usually more. Didn't matter what time I put her to bed, she'd still talk and sing for at least an hour. I did have the clarity of mind to enforce her laying down and we did put our foot down when she started kicking the wall. But my previous attempts to "help" her sleep had ended up in power struggles, so for a while, I gave up. I, of course, couldn't completely take a break until she was good and asleep. (strange how that is, eh?) When she did sleep, she never stayed asleep for much longer than an hour...

Post Sleep Rules:
We do the routine: stories, song, go over the rules, bed. Now Jane lays in her bed and, well, sometimes she does whisper to herself mostly she is quiet, for no more than a half hour before she goes to sleep. If she talks, sings, kicks the wall, etc, we take away Lammy. In the beginning, there was a treat/bribe involved if she took a nap. That was a good learning incentive but we don't do it anymore. She regularly sleeps 2+ plus hours for her nap and wakes up so much happier than before.

Nap Rules:
1. Be quiet (we clarify with "no talking, no singing, no whispering...")
2. Lay Down
3. Close your eyes
4. Go to sleep
5. Makes Jane a Happy Girl

She likes counting this off with her fingers, and there is usually a five-fingered tickle when we get to Happy Girl.

That's all. Nap Rules ROCK! She keeps getting better at falling asleep. And yes, it took a lot of taking away Lammy in the beginning. But we are doing fabulously these days. Knock on Wood

Sleep Training

About a week ago I was feeling all smug about sleep training Emiline in about 36 hours. We moved her into her sisters room at about 4 months ??? (I'd have to check) but because we were so worried about them waking each other up, anytime one of them started to fuss, I'd run in there. That got old quick and Emiline didn't have the greatest self-soothing skills. So I decided to help her learn. We had Jane sleep on the loveseat in our room for a few nights and I was strict with Emiline and just let her figure it out. It worked really fast. But someone didn't knock on wood/got punished for her smugness.

Four days later we had the 6 month appointment and shots. She wanted to be held more and definitely didn't want to sleep in her bed. So I caved, I gave her the binky a time or two and then Wednesday, after she woke up screaming and inconsolable, I let her sleep in my bed with me. She thrashed every 45 minutes as she came out of a REM cycle and then would reach up for my face then settle back down. It was actually pretty sweet, but also very tiring.

So it took 36 hours to untrain her, too. Now she's much worse than before. And she's just so mad whenever we put her in the crib, it's not a heartbroken cry but an indignant one! Last night this meant she slept in the kitchen in the port a crib next to the running dishwasher so she wouldn't wake up her sister (which is ironic because tonight I let her wail in her crib for 10 minutes for going to get her and Jane was snoring when I went in... she sleeps through it!) She cried for an hour, exhausted but fighting so hard.

I hate sleep training. Hate, hate, hate it. It's been extra frustrating because Eric is finals and he definitely doesn't handle her crying well so I'll go get her for his sake.

Anywho. I'm tired. And I think it's funny that Jane is incapable of sleeping in my bed and Emiline seems irate that she doesn't get to every night.

Blah, blah, blah, go to bed.

holes in my brain

Today at physical therapy I got talking to another patient who is a much older mother, her children are my age. I was mentioning how my to do list is crushing me and I'm way behind in getting ready for our trip because my brain has holes in it. Her suggestion was to make a list and that would ease my mind. I didn't tell her how often I have tried to make a list these last few weeks. Here's how it usually goes:

She's making a list....where'd that pen go? *baby sucking on it* Oh, there it is.
"Mommy, I NEED you! I have to go POTTY!" Off to the potty...OK, now where was I?

She's making a list....*baby starts crying, pick up baby*
"Mommy, I want to color"
"Not right now, it's mommy's turn"
"No, I WANT to. My paper."
*baby starts eating paper*
"Jane, please talk nice. Say, 'OK Mommy, it's Mommy's turn now.'"
"OK Mommy...It's Jane's turn now."
"Let's watch Wiggles?"

She's making a list....*phone rings*
She's making a list....*baby has a blow out*
She's making a list...."I need a snack!"
She's making a list....etc, etc, etc. REPEAT.


Not sure if I'll get to making a list this year, let alone checking it twice. I think it is significant that Santa isn't a mother.

Christmas Letters

I've been working on our Christmas Letter on and off for about a week. The first few times I took a crack at it got me all down and depressed. Sometimes I don't know where that line of being Positive (and grateful) and Sincere (and grateful) but Honest (and not ungrateful). See, we've had a lot of tough stuff this last year. And a LOT of blessings, sure. But in this economy, at this time of the school year, with a T.W.O year old (Totally Willful and Obstinate), I had to admit I was having a hard time getting the tone right. The best I could get was Weary. So I came up with some different approaches to the letter:

Come up with a list of questions (get to know you, or favorite things, or even Christmas themed) and have each family answer them.

Forget the narrative letter and go with bullet points. It's so much more factual and less emotional (a good thing if you are trying to avoid emotions).

And instead of doing a year in review, do Facebook Status Review. How about a Christmas letter entirely in FB updates??? This one didn't work for me as I'm not an FB regular, but I'd like to read a letter like this.

In fact, I LOVE Christmas letters, and not just because it means fun mail instead of ads and junk. I love the art of reflecting on our lives and the act of reaching out to friends old and new, far and near. We got our first in the mail today and I can't wait for more!

Today I sat down and found my tone and now it just needs to be proofed by the detail man husband guy. And there is the picture, and the printing, and the stuffing, and the addressing, and posting... it's amazing I ever get any out. Mailing things is NOT my strong suit.

Make-oo

"Make-oo" is Jane's word for make-up.
This morning was the usual bustle to get ready for church. Our bishop had asked everyone to make an effort to be to church five minutes early. We were on target for this at 8:40 this morning. The girls were ready, diaper bag was packed. Eric and I where just finishing up ourselves. I was taking a little longer than usual to straighten some bits on my hair. Usually we put a movie on so that Jane stays neat for longer. That was the intention today as well. You can see what good intentions lead to:


This picture demonstrates how much Jane loves the stuff and is also a testament to her powers of observation, considering I don't wear the stuff more than once a week, unless my mother is in town. As you can see, she did try to put the mascara on her eye-lashes. You can see how she missed in this pictures (it's even in her hair), but as I was cleaning it off, it was also on her eye lashes! You can't really tell from this picture how she managed to get get half a tub of Bare Minerals eye shadows on her eyelids, shirt, skirt, tights, shoes, the rug, the couch, and in my make-up bag. She also had time to curl her eyelashes. I'm glad I don't keep lipstick and the lip gloss is always in my coat pocket.

Of course she had to get in trouble over this one. But BOY it was so hard not to laugh!

Speaking of not laughing, we also went to a huge Creche display in our area tonight and Jane was the most obstinate she's been to date! After some too-long delayed discipline, I was talking to Jane very seriously in the corner about when it is time to obey and when it is time to be silly. She was upset and still had tears on her face when we heard a funny noise behind us. Jane interrupts with "Mommy, you fart?"

It was the worst of times, it was the best of times! (I know that's backwards, but it's fitting when you have a toddler!)

Did I mention we were 20 minutes late to church?

Dream Envy

I've been thinking about this for awhile, talked to my sister and Eric about it and that seemed to quench it for a week or two. But some stupid movie brought it back up, that and writing the Christmas Letter (which is another post in and of itself).

dream envy
noun (pl. -vies)
what a dreamer without a dream feels when he/she sees others living their dream


My oldest brother and his wife are living their dream. They went away to grad school, came back not only to Idaho but were able to get the golden job in their hometown and are currently building their dream house.

An amazing friend of mine/old roommate's husband just got a job with the foreign service. They are waiting to hear where they will be posted and will spend their lives living all over the world and serving their God and Country.

Two very different dreams. And I am envious of them both.

All of this and all the questions about job hunting and what our plans are made me ask Eric:
"What are your dreams?" Bless his heart, my husband. He never laughs at me (not out loud anyway, unless I'm already laughing) when I throw out these broad questions in such a simple, matter of fact way in the same way I ask him if he wants water or milk with dinner.

Long answer short, he doesn't really have any. Or not specific ones. And here's the rub of being a peacemaking, passive middle child: I'm too willing to be adaptable, in fact I often prefer it. Since I love everything (music, literature, education, health, art....), I want everything (be a songwriter! write a book! teach! become a yoga instructor/physical therapist/personal trainer! be a painter! or at least have an Etsy shop) . But I want most of it equally as much so I don't make a decision or if I do, it's not backed up by enough love to make me faithful. I stubbornly maintain I'm not fickle. I'm just lacking in fidelity to my own dreams and desires. You could say I dream around.

Is this a bad thing? Could have been really, really, helpful if I'd fallen in love with a man totally driven to run for office or run an orphanage in Romania or be a farmer. Or even a dairyman. But the pair of us are way too "I'll go where you want me to go" kinda people. And here's a lesson I learned way back pre-college, even. Yes, the Lord wants you to submit your will to his. But in order to do that, you gotta have a will in the first place.

So I have dream envy. I really do think I have drive within me. I know how to work hard. I know how to "git 'er dun." I just need to pick a dream.

Shall we take a vote? (that was a joke. kind of.)

I'm Sitting Here, I'm Six Months Old!

a la Laurie Berkner's Five Days Old. Emiline must have known Laurie Berkner in a previous life. A dear friend gave us one of her DVDs and she popped it in when were over at her house when Emiline wasn't even 3 months old and it was all smiles! I feel kind of guilty letting her "watch" it, but the fact that it's all music and she loves it so completely does a lot assuage. Actually, Emiline is sick today, some kind of flu? (diarrhea and a fever for the last three days) and she's a sad girl. She wants to play but then wimpers after just a few seconds of any one thing. Except Laurie Berkner. It's the thing keeping her content at the moment so I can type. She particularly loves Victor Vito.

Can I just say how much I love this age? Granted, smelling my sister's newborn makes just a titch sentimental of that stage. But just the smell. That's it. They lose that new baby smell so fast!

Anywho- Emiline is such a fun little baby. It was fun to have my parents here and see her through their eyes. Number one comment, (besides her overwhelming cuteness) is
"She's not easy to hold!" Yes, she leans. She's very grabby and I have a feeling she'll be crawling sooner rather than later. She wants to move. She's very happy and has no stranger anxiety yet. Although, she has exhibited a preference for mommy already. Eric was getting her ready for bed and she was past tired one night when I walked past her room and smiled. Eric said she lit up for a minute and then gave him the biggest pouty lips and bawl the second I was out of eye sight. It's endearing...but also makes me wary. Being needed so much is exhausting!

She has been sitting up pretty steadily for a while now. She stills falls on occasion, usually because she's reaching for something or other. But she cries more about it these days, even when I KNOW it didn't hurt. You can see on her face when she knows she's started to fall and she starts crying about it before she lands. She gets mad about losing her balance. It's pretty funny.

She's a social little bee. If we've been in the house too long, she gets fussy and wants to see a new face. It's a very good thing we make it to the gym most days. She loves new faces to look at it and it's a breeze taking her to the grocery store.



She's got the whole passing from hand to hand thing down really well and can get things in her mouth with incredible ease and accuracy. She really likes taking things out of other things. We have several different baskets of toys and her current favorite thing is to take each on out, turn the basket over, and then cry to tell me she wants to do it again.

It's been interesting to watch her play when Jane is around. She's had substantially less time on her own to figure things out than Jane ever did. When Jane is up, most of the time Emiline is watching her play at least half the time. And the other half (OK, more like fourth) of the time Jane is encroaching or at least interrupting what Emiline is doing. I've been making an effort to make sure Emiline gets time to play with toys on her own before Jane jumps in.



We've started her on solids. Since she was a week late, we started her a week ago. But she has not had any kind of cereal yet and I'm not planning on it any time in the future, you know, unless her doc gives me a talking to and good reasons. I've decided to let her have full control of what she eats, hoping that will result in a kid more in tune with her palate and tummy as well as experimental. Here's yet another promise to talk about this approach in another post, because this one is all about my dear Emiline.

Favorites. Other than Laurie Berkner, Emiline loves her sister, her mommy, strangers, 80s music, (and most other kinds too), her binky (definitely an oral child!), balls, jewelry and watches, stuffed animals, patty cake with daddy (she likes it so much more with him...maybe I do it wrong?), Wash the Ladies Dishes with mom, being a part of meals at the dinner table,


and kicking. You should see this kid in the bathtub! She kicks both legs at the same time and sends water 5 feet in the air. I keep the shower curtain part way closed to minimize the mess and I don't bring my cell phone in the bathroom for fear of water damage. Jane LOVES to bathe with her sister and finds all the splashing alternately hilarious and disconcerting (when it gets in her eyes).

She has been a real joy. I kind of laugh at myself when I remember how nervous I was to have two and the timing of it all. I can't wait to get to know her more and more and watch her grow and develop into the person she already is. Yeah, being a mom kinda rocks.

So Many Things to Post About!

Really, I promise, I'll get to it. As soon as my family leaves town. And as soon as Thanksgiving is over. And as soon as I catch up from everyone being here. And once I've got Christmas all locked together....OK, maybe in January ;-)

But real quick, I wanted to promote two books I am reading that are INCREDIBLE!!!




I won't post summaries here, but link up to Amazon instead. The first book was a chance find while browsing the shelves because the second one hadn't come in (which I discovered while looking on Amazon). See, I'm unsatisfied with the way Jane is unsatisfied with food. And I feel duped again by trusting doctors too much. So I started doing some research for a better way to try with Emiline. I think I may have found it and realized my own mistakes with Jane, which hopefully I can still fix. Like I said, hopefully I'll post more when I catch up from family being in town. I wish I wasn't so easily derailed!

Oh, Right, Halloween

Jane is still talking about Halloween. Anytime she sees anything resembling a costume she starts telling me how she wants to dress up as "bat cat" (a character from Charlie and Lola) and take her pumpkin to the church to get some trick or treats. Anyway, it reminded me that I didn't post about Halloween, just a sneak peak of costumes. LAME! So here you go. We didn't really get any perfect pictures...*sigh* That's really my weak spot, methinks. But we got enough kinda cute pictures to give you the idea.

I had a whole day of activities planned and I had the costumes finished well in advance so that we wouldn't be rushing around in past years. For a brief, glimmering moment I thought Eric might come with us for part of the day. I was wrong. I really, really, hope that next year Eric gets to celebrate holidays with his family, for real, for real. This is the third year Eric has wanted to carve a Trogdor pumpkin. He made a pattern his first year of law school and each year I faithfully buy pumpkins and three years in a row we have thrown out moldy pumpkins in November that never got carved. Wah, wah. Anyway, The Trunk or Treat was in the middle of nap time. Do you think my Jane decided to nap early? Uh, no. Did Emiline cooperate either? Nope. So we missed our town's little celebration but we did make it out the door to our church's Trunk or Treat. But not without tears. I actually bribed her with a sucker to get a smile on her face and her body down the hall and to the elevator. That did the trick as you can see.


You know, bribery works. But only on holidays ;-) Jane got the hang of trick or treating pretty quickly. Amazing how kids lose their shyness when candy is involved.
This is my dear friend Bree.
This is Jane saying "um, this isn't candy!" In fact, any candy that she didn't recognize was not allowed in her pumpkin. She was polite about taking what she was given, but then I had to take it. You should have heard the screech when I put a box of Dots in her bag...not that I minded pocketing those.
Here are the Metzgers trying to get Jane to talk to her...she put up with it and didn't squawk. She's getting better at being "polite."

I took Jane at the very beginning (I think the only thing that Mormons are ever on time for is Trunk or Treat) while Emiline napped and Eric studied at home. Then we went and picked up Emiline. She was pretty happy to sit and watch. Plenty to see!!
Jane consented to a portrait with her mom. She was constantly on the edge of a sugar crash and I would keep her from plunging one smartie at a time. She ran a lot of circles off that rush!
Then we went home and it was an early bed time. But first Dad took a few more pics.



All in all, it went pretty well. I think having Eric a part of next year will be even better!

A Few of Her Favorite Things

Since Jane was a screaming newborn, we've always listened to music in the car. For the longest while it was just the Children's Songbook CDs. Then we switched to the Wiggles for a while. Now we are into The Laurie Berkner Band. Jane is sweetly silent as long as there is music on, or "gewsic" as she calls it. I treasure this silent, meditative time (is it strange that I meditate to "Henry the octopus is a very special friend to me" or "thu-thu-thu-thu-thunderstorms..."), and most of the time I don't mind listening to kid music all the time and sometimes I find myself really enjoying it, some of Laurie Berkner is pretty interesting musically.

But the other day we were driving downtown to pickup Eric from school and we hit some really slow/stopped traffic so I opted to have a conversation with Jane. I started asking about her favorites. Holy cow is she opinionated!! I had no idea about some of these things:
Favorite Color: Orange (I've asked her several times since, and she really does like orange).
Favorite Toy: The Flower
Favorite Food: Cereal
Favorite Uncle: Uncle Jordan
Favorite Cousin: Joey (no surprise there)
Favorite Song: I am a Child of God
Favorite Movie: Charlie and Lola (another no surprise)
Favorite Treat: Stucker (sucker)

Seems like there were more. It's pretty neat to see her understand more and more concepts like favorites, etc.

I'm an Aunt. Again!

My sister, the one I live next to, had her baby last night/this morning. She hasn't carried a baby much past 38 weeks, and half of her four came at 37+. Until now. Meet Gabriella (or at least, that's the working name as far as I know), number five. Sunday is my sister's due date, so she was still "early." We got to go to the hospital this morning and I held the sweetie while her mommy went to the bathroom. Emiline was fussy and my brother was tired of holding her so I grabbed the both of them and he shot some pics. It's amazing what 5 months will do to a baby, eh? It'll be neat for Emiline to have several girl cousins her own age-Mallory, Abigail, Gabriella, and the yet to be baby due early January of my older brother's. That's a lot of girls in one year.

All in A Day's Work

My little brother is in town this week. He's 21 and returned from his mission in Merida, Mexico (on the Yucatan) about 6 months ago. I had a physical therapy at 2:30 (I need to blog about my MRI) during the girls' naps so he was going to stay home with them. Before I left he told me "now don't worry about hurrying home, go have some you-time. Go to a spa. Or sit in the woods. Whatever." I was going to hurry back because it had been a long day and my back had had it.
But then I decided to seize the chance to get a new swimsuit. Note to self, if you where your old-nonmaternity swimsuit while pregnant, it won't fit when you are not pregnant. Holy stretchy! I did go looking, it was, of course, disastrous. Well, not quite. There were no tears, but there were no successes, either.

As I was leaving the store, about 4:10, my brother calls. Before I can say hello I hear two very familiar voices screaming at the top of their lungs. My brother manages to get out that Emiline has been crying and he doesn't know why, even when he picks her up or puts her down. I ask if he's changed her diaper because even over the phone I can tell it's a pain cry. He says he'll try that and we hang up. He calls back a minute later with reports that it's bright red and he doesn't know what to do...I explain how to wipe it, tell him where the stuff is and say I'll be home in just a minute, let her air out.

As I come up the stairs and into the hall, I strain my ears. No crying. A little relieved, I walk in the front door where immediately kick a couple capless markers. All dozen of them are on the floor, all but two uncapped, and on the floor itself (laminate wood) is Jane's coloring. Then I hear "Mommy! Mommy! Mommy's here! Mommy I need you!" And Jane comes running down the hall in just a shirt. She's colored on herself as well. And she's been pretty thorough about it--foot, ankle, bottom of her foot, back of her calf, outside of her leg, knees and kneepits, her thighs and especially her inner thighs got a lot of it as well as her arms, her elbow pits, her nose, cheek, and forehead. My guess is she was trying to draw a kitty cat face, a nose and whiskers, like we did for Halloween and then just got carried away with the novelty of it.

Before I can properly react, I need to reassess the rest of the situation. I find Emiline and Jordan on the floor of the girls room, Emiline airing out with a very red, blistered bum. They both seem fine so I through a couple of cloth diapers at Jordan so Emiline doesn't pee on the carpet. Then I call Jane in and begin to talk to her about coloring on ourselves. I tell her it makes me and Heavenly Father sad. That our bodies are a gift from Heavenly Father and are very special and not for coloring on (she's heard this before, mind you), and because she's learning about temples and thinks every pretty building is one, I even give her the body is a temple line. Then I tell her she needs a spanking and that we need to clean her up. That seems to communicate the gravity and wrongness of what she's done, before that, she kept waiting for me to smile at her. After a quick spanking and a very long hug, she says sorry and I tell her we need to say sorry to Heavenly Father too. We then get on our knees and I help her say a prayer for forgiveness. And then another hug and it's all smiles. I love how punishment/consequences can make things all better. Whether she has to sit on her bed or a spanking, these things reset her so she can be her normal, happy self. Sometimes I don't do it right away because it's not any fun to discipline, and she just keeps acting worse until I do. Anyway.

Then I go to take her shirt off and then I see the purple belly. Definitely the worst of it--I think she tried to color in her belly button, all of it. I tell her she'll definitely need a bath and she says "No! and takes off running!" She hates baths these days. She slipped in the tub a few weeks ago and was terrified for a week. She still takes some coaxing but the last few times she hasn't cried all the way through. Progress.



I decide to let her hide for a while so I can run the bath and get some medicine for Emiline. I walk in the bathroom and that's when I see the poop. on the potty, on the rug, on the floor and on the pair of panties and pants Jane was wearing when I left...and who knows where else. I holler out to Jordan, "Any other surprises?"

Then I hear Jordan yell and say "she's peeing on the carpet!" Emiline had kicked off the diapers and she started to cry again because pee hurts open sores. So I quickly remove the poo and go back to Emiline and take care of her bum. Then it's bath for Jane, dinner for all of us, and because Jane didn't have a nap (turns out she pooped her pants in bed about 15 minutes after I left) I was going to put her down early at 6:30 when my sister calls. I'd made extra dinner but she'd said they had other plans. But those plans changed so they came over, too.

They stayed for about an hour, but it seemed much longer as I was tiring (nay, exhausting) really fast. I put Emiline down just before they left and Jordan went with them, and then I started getting Jane's jammies on. We went to read stories on my bed and then I couldn't get up for about a half hour. By then it was 8:00 and Eric was supposed to be home in 15 minutes so I gave up and let the calvary come home. Jane wasn't in bed til about 8:30 and had several night wakings/screamings. She's sick again, just in time to have her ears checked from last ear infection, so we'll be heading to the doctor today.

I fell asleep at 8:45 waiting for Eric to finish in the bathroom.

Which brings me back to my favorite quote these days:
"Do not pray for tasks equal to your abilities, but pray for abilities equal to your tasks. Then the performance of your tasks will be no miracle; but you will be the miracle."
Thomas S. Monson, General Conference October 2007

I am thrilled to have so much more function and mobility in my back as well as a lot less pain than I've had in very long time. I'm thrilled that I'm able to do all that is required of me. I was so cool and collected and calm about everything yesterday afternoon. I didn't even sigh in frustration (that I remember, anyway ;-) I was able to take it all in stride and joke about it and see the humor in it. And I was able to DO IT!! I love doing.

Today, well, today is a bit more of a challenge. I'm having to really keep a lid on my sighs of frustration. Jane is particularly emotional and frustrating today. So I wanted to blog about this now to see if I couldn't inspire myself to find and keep my calm and my sense of humor. I'm sure a nap would help ;-)

wHoley Typeos!i!

Yeah, just read through my last few posts...someone is sleep deprived, methinks.

Halloween Sneak Peak!

I'm so excited to celebrate Halloween tomorrow! I've had fun making both girls costumes. For more than a year I've been seeing refashion projects on blogs and I've started stashing things (instead of Goodwilling them) to have a refashion supply. I tried to make some doll clothes last Christmas (good idea, mediocre execution) and then goofed around trying to make a dress that I will probably still finish for this Christmas for Jane. But in the last month I've had some rocking successes, including this year's costumes. I've been wanting to experiment with ruffles, roushing (how the crap do you spell that?), and knits and this gave some good experience. So here's what I've got:

Homemade Baby Witch Costume

I pulled out Ye' Ol' Make and Do Book from Days of Yor and there were instructions on how to make a cone hat, out of felt. I think it turned out pretty good! Then I took a pair of leggings I'd bought last year at Target dollar spot (way close to Halloween or after for half off) and cut the legs off and those are the green arm warmers you see. I used the rest of the leggings as a kind of cap to keep Emiline's head warm and keep her hat on. The dress is cut from a too large underarmour type garment. I used the original neck whole and just copied one of her other dresses. It was incredibly easy to do! The stripped leggings are actually the inspiration piece. They are a Baby Legs knock off and she wears those regularly and every time I have them on her I think how cute they'd be as part of a witch costume. Ta Da! Hopefully we'll get some cute pictures of baby in costume instead of baby napping and costume on floor. All I spent this year was 87 cents plus tax for the three pieces of felt. And the 50 cents last year for the leggings.

Jane's costume really is more of a sneak peak, it's nearly done, though. I've got to get her kitty cat ears done and that's pretty much it. The top is made from a legging of an old pair of lounge/yoga pants. It is way cute on, and doesn't look crooked at all (it is very crooked). I'm also proud of the tail. Again I used half off target dollar spot leggings in a creative-ish way. I made the tail out of that same shirt I used for Emiline's costume, stuffed it with some old pilly pillow flush and a piece of wire. Then I cut the legs off the leggings and used them like bloomers and sewed the tail to it. The legs of the leggings will be arm warmers.

Toddler Kitty Cat Costume

Total cost for Jane's: a $1.00 glittery black headband that I may or may not actually use. $.25 for felt and $.50 for leggings from last year, although we used those a lot so it's technically a refashion.

We've got a packed day tomorrow! I feel so blessed to be able to have the energy and strength this year to make costumes and actually take the girls out!

If You Give a Mouse a Cookie...

If you give a mouse a cookie, he'll want a glass of milk...

If you give a mommy a few hours to herself, she'll get addicted to the feeling and stay up til almost one just being herself. *sigh* Good day.

More Leaves, No More Fall

One Sunday afternoon I made Eric help me take some more pictures out behind our apartment. We got a few that are at least half good. The weather has turned now and the stupid leaf blowers came by a few days after we took these and after several hours of really annoying noise took all the leaves away and left a big cloud of leaf dust around our building.

Looks like I'm raising a couple of tree-huggers....




Later guys! Don't you wish you were cool like me?? You can, just find a a pile of leaves to chill-lax in.

5 Months Old and Potty Trained!

Emiline is 5 months old today. And Jane is potty trained!! Woot! Woot! I'm planning on writing a post about that later, but lets just say it was a blast! She was ready, I was ready, and it was a party every time she had a success. She's been in panties almost a week now and just had a handful of accidents.

Emiline is working on being a steady sitter. It's fun to watch her figure out her balance. She's definitely into grabbing and wants to look at everything. She's incredibly strong and has a pretty high metabolism because she drinks a lot of milk and is pretty slim. She's always kicking and doesn't hold still unless she's sleeping. She's very much into music and her sister. She's so easy when Jane is around playing. Constant entertainment. She loves new faces and I love this age!

Here are some pictures!

Sisters, sisters, never where there such devoted sisters! When Emiline woke up from a nap, Jane wanted to get in her crib and read her a story. I think she liked it.





Jane has the craziest morning hair. Mine hair isn't even a bit fine so this ratty thing is totally new to me.

An attempt at a family picture. We kept cutting of Emiline's face and this was the best one we got.

Daddy is the best reader of stories. He is, as Jane would say "so silly!" He never reads the words the same way twice.

Hope you liked! We sure love our little family. I'm doing my best to enjoy and delight in this time.

Wading in Slowly and Taking the Plunge

We've been doing a bit of potty training here and there for about a week now. Jane's idea. Well, she started asking to wear panties. We now have 5 gold star stickers on her potty symbolizing her successes. I'll hopefully post more later on all that. We are taking it slow and not really pushing it yet.

We are however plunging forward with letting the girls share a room... I'm not convinced now is the time and I have no idea how this will all go, but they are both in the kids room right now, at this very moment, as I type, NOW. Just before naptime we set up the crib and Jane seemed fine with the idea it was for Emiline until I put the mattress in. Then she insisted it was hers. I did my best to remind her she wasn't a baby and pointed out the cool things big kids do, like having treats. Yes, I headed off a tantrum with a dum-dum. But it was logical and made a point! I also let her have one of Emiline's binkies for a little bit so she could indulge in pretending she was a baby (she doesn't even know how to use the thing...). I think it worked rather well. So far. Knock on wood. I've been telling Jane she will get to share a room with her sister just like Charlie and Lola and she seems to like the idea.

I'll keep you all posted in how this all turns out (crossing every crossable appendage now)

Better

If I kiss you where you're sore,
if I kiss you where you're sore,
will you feel better? better? better?
Will you feel anything at all?

If I believed in those music players on blogs (or knew how to put one on...;-), you'd be hearing Regina Spektor's Better right now (the lyrics written above).

Things are a lot better the last couple of days. Not really sure why. The girls are feeling a bit better, Emiline is sleeping a bit better, I'm hurting a bit more but somehow all that adds up to a lot better. Could it be because I spent 4+ hours painting and crafting for my niece's birthday party this weekend??? Probably. I don't think it's the weather, but that has been really nice. Emiline loves it.


Here's the thing, the thing that I keep forgetting:
If mommy ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.
I keep forgetting to "nourish" myself (yes that sounds hokey) in the ways that really matter for me. I've had to make going to the gym a priority for my health and then there is the endless list of house stuff that has to be done. And then the basic basics of caring for my two girls

and on occasion me. It's really easy to let those really key things fall threw the cracks until I'm feeling crazy. And sometimes you have to do something that doesn't make sense-like going to a late movie (with money you borrowed from somewhere else in the budget) with a friend and laughing your head off and then staying up too late. Then Emiline had a bad night so I got like 3 hours of sleep (btw, this was the night of the last post)...and yet, I felt pretty good on Wednesday, even though I had a very noisy MRI (I get the results on Friday). Tired, but good. Sometimes making the "smart" choice isn't so smart, right? It's just so hard to know.

I usually think that if I can just pray, read my scriptures, and be healthy (exercise, eat right, etc) every day that I will be happy and at peace. But I have found that just focusing on doing those things actually makes less happy and more mechanical (because I'm not perfect and don't do them everyday. But IF I did do them everyday, maybe I would be at peace?). In the meantime, I need to do those things that add color and brilliance to my life, for me. Painting is one of those things, apparently. So is laughing and connecting with a good friend every week. Or climbing a tree.


It's so easy to turn to distraction and sugar to ease the pain: i.e. Hulu and dark chocolate covered pretzels. I've decided to try very hard to make my "downtime" more "uptime." Or doing things that bring me up and the word I keep coming back to is brilliant, like when you get the saturation on a photo just right.

Like, when Emiline woke up Tuesday night and coughed every 2 minutes for an hour. If I hadn't gone out with my friend, I would probably have been frustrated and only full of obligation. Instead, I actually relished cuddling her and soothing all her pathetic whimpers so she could sleep. It was a sweet, brilliant moment.

And tonight as I put Jane down I was completely exhausted with various aches and body complaints. She did nothing especially cute or sweet or anything. But I was there, saturated in the moment and I just enjoyed her usual antics and felt so full of quiet joy singing her a lullaby and kissing her good night.

I just need to find what's sore and kiss it better, I guess.
and throw leaves.