The Blizzards and Zombies of Life

There are many things I love about Minnesota. And with regards to the snow, I love how it doesn't stop anyone. It doesn't even really slow anyone down, at least not much. We'd get a whole foot dumped on us over the night and come morning, the schools would just delay things, like an hour or two. At the most. Our first winter there it was purely befuddling. For example, the 10 year old girls I taught at church would show up at my apartment in shorts and mere sweatshirts on in November when there was already feet of snow on the ground.  There is definitely something to be said about acclimatization. And expectations. And preparation.

Tonight my awesome Lil Sis took me out on a date. The Huz left town yesterday to go to a funeral in Wichita. His best friend's mom, really a second mother, passed away suddenly and unexpectedly at a young age from a pneumonia that went septic (at least, that's what I've pieced together from FB reports and stuff). The Huz, really, really, really wanted to be there in person and we looked at flights with bulging eyes and watched the driving conditions with breaths held and finally I just pulled the trigger and bought a "cheap" Southwest flight into Kansas City, an easy drive to Wichita, and he has two sisters living there. It seemed perfect, the cost, the timing, everything. The winter storm here wasn't as bad as predicted, he made it safely to SLC and his flight and everything went A-OK. And then the storm that was supposed to hit southeastern Kansas ate one of those magic mushrooms and grew to cover the state and a few next door. So during the night, the roads became impassable. And yet, pass my husband would try anyway. He got up super early and conditions didn't look to bad, so off he went. He got 10 minutes away from his sister's house and couldn't go any further. He ended up spending four hours or so in a gas station waiting for the plows to do their work.

In the meantime, I'm sending massive prayers to heaven and good thoughts his way, and so is my mother and the girls, that he'll be able to make the funeral, that something will work out or at least he'll just be safe. He made it back to the house, had a late lunch, and got to spend a little time with family. And then the storm seemed like it was clearing up, and the plows had caught up, and according to his friend the roads got really good 80 miles outside of Wichita, so off he went again. I made him keep me updated every hour so, as my Worry was in high gear. And it seemed like he might actually make it to Wichita. Sure, he'd missed the funeral, but he could still make it in time to be with all that had gathered. So, patiently and carefully, he kept on going down I-35 at no more than 20 miles an hour. It was all going to be OK.

And then he went off the road. He didn't slide far, and it looks like the car is fine, but he was high-centered and couldn't get back on the road. Some Good Kansan drove him into town and helped him find a way to try and pull it out. Although, it's another convoluted tale. And here's were the story gets sparse as I haven't talked much on the phone with him, just some texting about this part. They couldn't pull it out, he's been waiting at yet another gas station for a few hours for a tow truck and it looks like he won't be making it to Wichita after all. At all.

While this last bit of fun has been going on for the my Huz, I was sitting in the movie theater with Lil Sis watching Warm Bodies. It's a comedic take on Romeo and Juliet, only Romeo is a Zombie. While hilarious, the movie got me invested. The dialogue and story are good and it has some great, relatable characters (yep, I'm relating to a Zombie). So there I am in the dark theater checking my phone and getting text updates about my poor Husband's, terrible, awful, no good, very bad blizzard. And I think his anxiety and frustration and everything instantly traveled all those hundreds of miles and I found myself feeling very vulnerable in the theater. I needed this story to have a happy ending. I needed the Zombie Romeo not to get blown apart by Juliet's father. For a little while there, I was a little concerned about my ability to keep it together if the Undead became More Dead.

And it was all I could do to refrain from thinking about how this whole day for Eric is like what our whole almost two years of limbo has been. And to not, yet again, be angry at God like a three year old who didn't get her way.

The night before I bought the ticket, I prayed that I might please be directed on what we should do, if he should go or not. If we should spend practically nonexistent resources on this or not. When I found the ticket, it felt right. So I did it. And when, at 10:00 a.m., my mom texted me saying she was recruiting a massive prayer force "because we believe in miracles" I was hopeful he'd make it to the funeral. It did look like things could work out. And they didn't. But I'm still hopeful there was a purpose or a reason to all this. Like I said before, effort is never wasted in the eternal scheme of things.

And I guess that's what blizzards and zombies have taught me tonight.  Like snow in Minnesota, it takes a lot of preparation, and just plain hard work,  to not allow external circumstances to stop you and only sometimes slow you down. The shear number of plows in Minnesota, the amount of resources devoted to snow removal, the action plan in place, as well as the attitude of those that live there makes a blizzard no big deal. In the  case of faith, it's spiritual prep and the tenacity of just pushing through it so I can see things with a perspective broader than tonight or this year.

Eric never did make it to Wichita. Neither did one of the daughters of the deceased because of the same storm. But faith isn't faith if it's dependent on getting my own way. Or said another way, faith operates outside of results, reasons, and outcomes. It's a blessing of the heart.

And for Zombies? What did they teach me? Faith is a game changer. It's an Undead changer. And sure, being alive means you might bleed and hurt sometimes, but it's much better than the alternative:

nnnnnaaaaaaaaauuuuuuuhhhhhhhh. (Zombie Grunt)

P.S. Warm Bodies is definitely worth seeing. I enjoyed the humor and the message.

Princess Stories and Reading

Emiline asked me to tell her a princess story tonight, "one with a prince!" I unimaginatively obliged by telling her a princessified version of how my parents met. She liked hearing about Princess Julie and Prince Lloyd and their first ball.

But then, Emiline told me a princess story. This one was about Princess Marcee and Prince Daddy-Eric and how they didn't know how to get to Grandma's house (where the ball was) and then they disappeared. Into the grass. Under the tramp. And then Princess Grandma-Queen and Prince Lloyd didn't know what to think and then they were scared because of the bad guys. And then Jane and Emiline got the guns to shoot the bad guys. Here I interjected with "where did you learn about guns?" and she said "at the store! I learned them at the store."  So Jane and Emiline shot the evil queen and saved them all. Oh, and then they went to the ball.

She sat there, sprawled out on my lap, and I got to stroke her hair and face and just soak her up. She's such a character! My sister pegged it the other day just what is so cute about the way Emiline talks. She has the typical problem saying Rs that most 2 year olds have, she talks non-stop with an advanced vocabulary and pretty clearly for 2, but the thing that makes her so endearing is that when she says a word, her whole face makes the effort to pronounce it, and often her whole body. She doesn't just radiate energy, she creates it, especially when she tells me stories. I have no idea where this bad guy stuff came from.

Tonight I'm supposed to be grading essays. I have a big activity for the youth in our church tomorrow that I'm in charge of, I spent the afternoon running around for that and in the doc's office and getting prescriptions because now Adam has bronchitis, we were there just a few days ago for Emiline's bronchitis and just opening my computer tonight after putting the kids down made me totally overwhelmed. But before that, Jane, Emiline and me had cuddle time on my bed and we read stories, and they tried to hide in their blankets and I tickled them.

All while we were in town today Jane was reading signs like crazy "Mom, that says 'drop off,' 'pick up,' 'Speed Queen,' 'Smiths,' 'Headstart,' and more I can't remember. It's like she can't help herself reading words, and I remember what that feels like. I remember looking at cereal boxes and labels and being surprised that I could read them without trying and that my tongue just had to say them, like scratching an itch.

While we were at Walmart, we stopped to look at a jewelry display and there was a friendship necklace and Jane reads:"'Be Fri" all confused then "Mom, why is that heart broken?" I explained to her that it is a friendship necklace with a message on each side of the heart. It says "best friends" because a best friend is someone that makes your heart feel a little broken when you are not with them. Immediately she says: "that's like me and Emiline! We should get it for her for Valentine's day!" How could I say no to that?

I guess I just wanted to take a minute tonight to dwell on the sweetness of the day. Sure, I'm putting off things that will make me crazier tomorrow. But I'm in a "big picture" kind of mood. I read this today and it just sort of resonated with me, helped me tone down the demands and disappointments in my life right now that would otherwise take too much of my attention. And you know what? I'm the teacher, I get to say when things are due, right? I mean, seriously! So maybe I won't grade papers after all...

But to all you "Be Fri"s out there, here is one "St Ends" saying, I'm glad our hearts make us both more complete, even if that does mean a little heartache when we are apart.