On Worrying. And Lines. And Faces.

I've taken some ribbing about the title of this blog, "These Lines Across My Face." When setting up our blog, Eric didn't want something normal. And besides really liking the song by Brandi Carlile,I have to fess up to really liking the idea of lines on faces. And to explain that one, I have to go back into puberty and embarrass myself.

Our small school had a small library that had a few series of historical romances, a favored genre of my 13 year-old self, including the Sunfire Romances. The plot outline was always the same: Heroine of Historical Time Period comes of Age and must Choose between Two Different Men. All of the books where named after the heroine and all of the covers had the same look. Here is volume 6:

Jessica, by Mary Francis Shura, was a favorite that I read easily several dozen times. And one of the many things that stuck with me was the description of the Good Step-Mother, Melanie. Her skin was darker than was fashionable because she loved the feel of the sun on her face. She had laugh lines around her eyes and a mouth that even at rest, looked like it was smiling.

I used to try and catch myself in the mirror with my face at rest to see what it looked like. At night sometimes I would try to see if my mouth could sleep with a smile on it. And I was always looking at older women to see what kind of lines they had on their faces. I hoped mine would be from laughing and smiling and that I would love them and not worry about getting old. I still hope I can get there. Too often the last few years my face has been a "pain face" as Eric learned to identify it. He'd think I was mad or upset or something and we learned for him to just ask me "your making a face, how are you feeling?" rather than assume I was upset. I have one line in between my eyebrows now that is a pain line. I'm not exactly proud of it, but I accept it as one of those lines that "tell the story of who I am."

Living at home with my parents while Eric studies for the bar and all the unknowns that lie ahead of us, and with my 10 year high school reunion yesterday, I've been thoughtful a lot about how I want the next five-ten years to go. I sat down and made another five year plan last week and it was a lot of fun to think about what I really want to accomplish. But even more than that, I've been thinking about who I want to become, and that comes down to daily attitudes. I don't want this phase of our life to leave me with worry lines, I don't want any phase of my life to do that.

Did you know, Mary Francis Shura, that you'd be so influential in my life??

I've been pondering a quote from President Uchtdorf's priesthood address from April's General Conference of the LDS church. He's speaking to the priesthood brethren, but it easily applies to everyone:
"Too often we fail to experience the bliss that comes from daily, practical priesthood service. At times assignments can feel like burdens. Brethren, let us not pass through life immersed in the three Ws: wearied, worrying, and whining. We live beneath our privileges when we allow worldly anchors to keep us away from the abundant joy that comes from faithful and dedicated priesthood service, especially within the walls of our own homes. We live beneath our privileges when we fail to partake of the feast of happiness, peace, and joy that God grants so bountifully to faithful priesthood servants."

I'm making a public promise here, one that I've already promised Eric and the Lord (and begged both their help in!) I'm not going to be wearied, worried, or whining. I'm going to have faith and be joyful. The face I will unthinkingly make will be a "peace face."

Here are just a few of the immediate reasons (and your reward for reading through my pontifications) that I have abundant joy:





These are the faces that are at my feast of happiness.

pictures taken July 2011 at the Target Portrait Studio
(we had a REALLY good coupon!)