When I Grow Up

I feel new.

Tonight we went around to visit our neighbors. We've been here in our pretty standard American suburb (houses 10 feet apart, small but not teeny fenced back yards) neighborhood for almost 8 months and I still don't really know my neighbors. We had a little bit of meeting when we needed to borrow tools to take out a hedge last fall. And I had great intentions of going caroling to everyone at Christmas (we got the flu instead). And there is the casual waving when shoveling walks in the winter and checking the mail here and there, but it wasn't enough to really get to know them.

And that's the funny thing about living in such close quarters. I can't decide if it's the introvert in me or the country girl, but living so close and being able to see so much of everybody's business without even trying to, I feel like I should make an effort to not look. And it's more than just ignoring the shouting spouses kitty-corner when I'm taking out the trash.  I feel the need to put up blinders, especially in the backyard.

Anyhow, we were going to take stuff around on Valentine's day, and SOMETHING got in the way of that too. Third time was the charm with Easter. So I made two batches of sourdough white bread (6 loaves), let the girls decorate some white paper bags and we took them around tonight. Two houses we just briefly introduced ourselves at the door to an adult, the third house was a cute 5 year old kid who told us right away we couldn't come in because the house was "trashed" and her parents where in the bathroom. But our last two stops were delightful. In particular, the last house that wasn't initially on the list but Jane insisted we stop turned out to be really neat.

I can't remember the last time I had such an easy conversation with someone. We equally shared, laughed, connected, and just had a ball! Eric and I made real friends tonight!

Which brings me back to feeling new. These days when I talk to people, and since we are still new here it's a lot of people that I don't know or they don't know me well, etc, I am very aware of how I might be perceived. This isn't new, but in the last few years, SO many of the things I do and am passionate about ARE new. And very different. For example, I have no chairs or couches in my house. That's a specific health choice I have made. I brew stuff in my closets--stuff with names that most people don't know how to pronounce. I make nearly everything from scratch. I homeschool, for now. And then there is my herbal knowledge and crafting that needs its own closet.

And then there are more normal things that are just so new to me: I'm a budding entrepreneur. I have a business. And I'm working on another. I'm figuring out this gardening thing (I planted 6 berry plants, 4 2 tomatoes, 4 peppers, 12 strawberry plants, 4 roses, 6 tulips, and a peony this week). I'm learning to build stuff. And I'm trying to own my "graphic designer" stuff that I do.

So there are all these things that I do right now that I love and am so passionate about, but they all seem so new that they don't quite feel like "me" yet and so it still feels a bit strange when I talk about them to people that don't already know me and all the cray-cray I got going on over here. I guess it's just all part of growing up, but I just wonder when will I grow up? Like, how nutty am I going to be in two more years?? How much more of this madness can Eric take? ;-)