"Eating" or "Sometimes Moms Take the Wrong Part of Their Job Too Seriously"

So I've been meaning to write some things on feeding my kiddos since we've been a bit focused on it lately. I posted those two great books a while back but I meant to do a kind of review of them...

Here is me when Jane was 4-5 months old:

Completely and totally wrapped up in the well-being of my baby and figuring out what is absolutely, completely best for her in all things including, sleeping, feeding, playing, eliminating...I was also completely and totally trusting of everything I was told at our pediatrician's office. So when they handed me the Four Month Old Info sheet that discussed how to start solids I gobbled it up. Apparently there was a particular method and approach, a system if you will, to transitioning a kid off of an all milk diet. I like methods and systems.

Initially, I was very patient and all ready to wait until Jane was six months old to start anything (because that's what the paper said!) and then, strange to say, all of my friends who had blogs and babies Jane's age started posting cute pictures of their kiddos starting solids. And I have to admit I was getting impatient. I wonder if I thought:
Man, she's sleeping through the night, smiling and laughing, sitting up...she's not going to crawl for a while. I'm bored. Let's start solids!

Funny because spoon feeding got old REALLY fast.

Anywho, my little handout said all kinds of things about what NOT to give her until she was one, two, twenty-three and a half, and waiting several days in between new foods in case of allergy. I still laugh at how thoroughly I bought the whole thing. Less funny is how I even judged other mom's who hadn't bought into the system. I didn't think anything terrible of them, just "didn't they read the handout?" or "maybe their doctor didn't tell them!" Go ahead, judge me. Laugh at me. It's hilarious now.

I was also participating in this thing out here called ECFE (Early Childhood Family Education). Basically, you pay a fee based on how much you earn and go to class with your kid and other parents who have similar-aged kids and you learn about development and stuff, the kids play together and you make Mommy Friends. I had a particularly rigid (and insane, annoying, and kind of ornery) teacher at this time who spent an entire month of classes talking about the details of feeding. Peel your grapes and quarter them or you are an evil mother! Absolutely no corn, not on the cob, not creamed, not kernels, certainly not popped until they are entering first grade! Nuts are the plague!! Etcetera!!!



So my scrupulousness went on for months. Then I took Jane into her nine month visit and saw the NP that I particularly adore. She basically told me that all that stuff I was told five months ago? Forget it! Throw it out the window! The powers that be have changed their minds, in fact, the research now shows they were probably wrong. You are up against a clock, your child is about to become picky and resistant to trying anything new. Give her everything possible NOW (except the honey). It might already be too late (it was).

That shattered my trust and complacent reliance on my (or anyone's) pediatrician, as well as further undermining my general opinion of doctors and their own opinions of their authority and knowledge. Science is a sham!! I love science (especially science fiction) but anyone that thinks science can discover Truth is deluded. That's not how the scientific method works!! (I'm parroting a science professor I had as a sophomore at USU) But that's a blog post for another day.

Anywho--Jane shut down shortly after that and not only stopped trying anything new but drastically limited to what she would eat to about five foods. Those adorable chubby, chubby, cheeks of hers? Entirely made up of cheese sticks and chicken nuggets. Mealtimes became the worst part of the day next only to menu planning. It became more and more ridiculous and I started reading more and more.

Let's speed this story up, shall we?

Here are the mistakes I made with Jane:

• Ever doing any kind of puree or reconstituted cereal flake thing...

• Didn't give her the opportunity to explore her food when she was in the height of that phase at six months or so. You know that whole thing where a six month old will shove anything into their mouth? USE IT! Put every different kind of food you can imagine and let them explore it all. Think how cool it must be for them! Think how I deprived Jane of that and now those new, cool textures and flavors are so scary because she doesn't have those formative experiences.
• Primarily spoon feeding and wresting control of feeding from her. I think a little spoon feeding is OK. But let the kid explore! Also, I gave her WAY too big of bites and fed her too fast. Seeing Emiline go at a baby's pace has made that very clear.

• Was way too anal about neatness and food throwing and manners and eating what we gave her and finishing her food and all that. The general feeling that was created around mealtimes was not pleasant and relaxed. I know it was tinged in anxiety for her and still is.

• Letting Eric get all worried and pester her about eating enough and not trusting that she'll eat when she's hungry and not worry if she doesn't (remember those chicken nugget cheeks? Kid is not going to starve anytime soon) We've tried to remedy this by having her ask her tummy if she's hungry or full. It's pretty cute, I'll admit, and it gives her control.

• Giving her too many choices when she was too young (or sometimes any choices). Now we serve what we serve for mealtimes and she either eats it or not. No biggy. Yes, we waste a lot of food. It's temporary. I let her request what she wants throughout the day for snacks (but I no longer offer regular snacks, she was snacking too much during the day, and I think it's good if I let her be in charge of her hunger) and I give her two choices at lunch.

Um, there are a lot more, but I'm trying to be quick. Honest.

Can I say now how much I LOVE Baby-Led Weaning!! Unfortunately, not tonight. It's passed my bedtime and I promised I'd go to bed early tonight (that's a promise I haven't been able to keep this week!) Stay tuned (some WAY cute baby eating pictures coming up!)