Emiline is the most grateful 19 month old I've met. She says "Thank You" with enthusiams for everything without prompting, for everything you do and it's so sweet, it makes the helper/giver feel pretty awesome about themselves.
My youngest sister was here for the holidays and she calls people "sweetie" a lot. Emiline has been sick since Christmas and a listless bag of Dora-watching, snot-running, momma-snuggling, puffy-eyed toddler. Last night at bedtime she sort of collapsed on Eric's shoulder and she said "Night Sweetie" to me in the most pathetic voice.
The girls got a DVD that teaches kids about notes and the piano. Jane loves it, the music in it gives me a headache, but BOY is she excited about finding Middle C on every piano or keyboard around. And then she plays "C, D, E," while singing the notes. That's as far as we've gotten in the DVD. Just a few minutes ago she was playing their toy keyboard and singing "C, D, E. C, D, E" over and over. Then she must have got bored cuz she threw in a high "L!" after a while...
Jane is in that distraction phase at the moment. i.e. "Jane, go get a tissue" and she gets distracted at least every two feet on the way to the bathroom by pretty much everything around her. So, of course, we taught her the word "distracted" so we can discourage the behavior. Worked pretty well for a while but now Jane has caught on. "Jane, it's time to pick up your blocks" is followed by "Oh, no, Mommy. I got distracted" And she starts to play with them some more.
When Emiline wants someone to get or do something for her she reaches out her hand and says "Hold my hand! Hold my hand!" (always twice) but it sounds more like "ho ma han, ho ma han," especially with the cold she's had. Then when you grab her hand she says "pull!!!! pull!!!" and grunts and doesn't really pull just weakly tugs and excepts you to get up. Right then. Quickly. Or it's a melt down of tears (at least while she's been sick). Pretty cute, though.
Christmas Greetings: Card, Letter, and Video!
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This year was probably the slimmest sending of Christmas Cards yet, I almost didn't send any but The Mom just pointed to the wall of Monroe Christmas Cards for the last 30+ years and we broke the change jar to send out a handful. Thank goodness blogging is free!!
We also made a video for family that is oh-so-far away. Jane has fallen in love with the Christmas Story and so we took a video of her telling it, with a little prompting, and even a few songs. Emiline gets in on the action a few times, too. It's important to note that her knowledge of the birth of the Savior comes primarily from the scriptures. She's seen one movie, a very short one with almost no dialogue, a few times and that's it. She's just in love with Mary and the baby and all of it, so it's really sweet to me the details she adds. You can see the video here:
Without further ado, here is a our Christmas Letter:
Highlights and Snapshot of 2011 for the Eric and Marcee Ludlow Family
3/4- Opening night of Harry Torter and The Magical Law School, a musical parody. Eric played Hagrid and had a ball! At this same time, Emiline was crawling all over the place, trying to talk, shouted her first word,“Jane!”, and starting to walk. She’s been busy! Jane’s art skills expanded to using scissors and glue sticks.
4/10- Marcee sang with the Minnesota Choral Society’s Spring Concert, including John Rutter’s Gloria. At this same time, the apartment was nearly totally packed up and Marcee, her awesome sister Melisa, Jane, and Emiline were a few days away from driving a U-Haul trailer loaded with the best of their stuff to Idaho to begin their months as nomads. They left early to help her mother with wedding prep while Eric stayed behind to finish school.
5/1-7- A Wedding, a Funeral, and Eric’s (unattended) Law School Graduation.
Our special niece Mallory passed away a few days before the wedding of Marcee’s brother, Jordan. Marcee and the girls were so blessed to see her again and even hold her on her last night on earth. She changed our lives and our perspective. She is a bit of heaven and gave us a window into the world we are striving for.
5/26- Left for the great summer road-trip. First stop was Arizona to see some Ludlow cousins and Great Grandma Ludlow. While there, they celebrated one happy, enthusiastic year of Emiline at the end of May. Then they continued across New Mexico, with some fun stops along the way (amazing Mexican food! best sand dunes!) and spent another few days in Lubbock with Eric's sister Belinda and her family.
6/3- The family finally reached Fort Worth to spend a month at the Ludlow Homestead, just in time for Eric to really hit the books studying for the bar. They had lots of fun adventures and good times with nearly all of the Ludlow family: the Zoo, the Water Gardens, and the Stockyards, a backyard water party, and Eric joined the family when he could. They even managed a quick trip to Austin, where it all began. Then they left the Texas heat behind and stopped to see some old friends in Wichita and Cheyenne on the long trip home.
7/10- Marcee’s 10-Year High School Reunion, making her feel all grown up. (Not old.) Eric was in full study mode for the bar, and the girls were fully enjoying their summer with family. Both girls discovered the joy of jumping, on and off the trampoline, and Emiline spent hours honing that skill every day (on and off the trampoline). Jane began singing, all the time, everywhere, and Emiline learned to put her toys away---in the tub.
7/26-27- Idaho Bar Exam. Eric was nervous, everyone else was confident. They all prayed anyway.
8/14- Jane turned three! Enjoyed more family visiting, the county fair, and a trip to Scipio, Utah, with a hike up the mountain where Marcee’s Dad used to drive the cattle as a boy. Jane did as well as a mountain goat and LOVED the rocky adventure! At this same time, Emiline went through a stage of growling all her communication, and Jane, the helpful sister she is, methodically taught Emiline the important life skill of how to pick one’s nose.
9/10- Jane’s first day of preschool, a once a week, in-home, mother’s group. Jane loves the socialization above all else, but she has also been learning to write her letters (and figuring out spelling on her own, too). Both girls have also started singing in Harmony Kids with Grandma Julie, which quickly became their favorite day of the week.
9/29—Eric’s Swearing-In Ceremony to become an Attorney before the Idaho State Bar in Boise. What a special day! Marcee and the girls (and everyone) beamed with pride and excitement! Also around this time, Jane began to develop a fascination with tying knots—in everything.
12/9- Opening night of The Joy Factory, a children’s musical and Christmas benefit Marcee and her mom co-produced and directed. Jane was even in a few scenes, and both girls knew all the songs. It took up most of the family’s fall and Eric got roped in as the technical director running the lights and sound. It was a sweet success and a great way to kick off the family’s Christmas season, reminding us all of the joy of giving to others.
We end our year at a much different pace than we began it with another, but different unknown path to travel. Yet, we are one year’s worth of experience and events wiser. Life keeps moving forward and with our faith and the gift of our Savior, we will all keep growing and finding joy.
Emiline
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Dear Emiline,
Please forgive your mother for the number of posts I didn't write about you. I adore you and treasure you and if you are ever tempted to compare the number of posts about Jane to the number of posts about you in your early life, I want you to know that all my posting about Jane had much more to do with me becoming a mother than about Jane as my daughter. Besides, she doesn't have a Milestone Marker.
I'm about 20 days late here, but I wanted to write about you at 18 months. There is soooo much to say and feel about you. You're energy is unflagging, you're delight in games and laughing and fun is limitless, you are an intense joy to me. So here is a typical story of a day with Emiline.
You usually wake up early, around 6:30 or so. You are learning to be more and more quiet as you learn more and more to follow Jane's example (in all things, I might add!) But sooner or later, you get excited for the day and your excited shrieking to Jane about one game or another, the sound of you jumping in bed, or your happy songs very quickly draw me to your room. As soon as I open the door, you become silent waiting to see what I'll do, what game I'll play. Sometimes you even pretend to be asleep and then shriek and giggle when I turn on the light. You are always ready with a "morning!" (mahnin!) and a good morning kiss. Then we change your bum, and you always play your "bum up!" game. Lately you want to wipe yourself and I let you, but only after I explained that "mommy first, then Emiline." Now when we wipe, you tell me who goes first! You have gotten so much better at being patient and I love to hear you say in a sing song voice "patiently!" (paslahley!).
As soon as I zip up your jammies you jump (literally) and run (literally) out of the room towards the kitchen. You are a fabulous eater in the morning and will usually eat twice what Jane does in the same amount of time, or less. I always get your food first, then Jane's, then your seconds, then Daddy's, then sometimes your thirds, and then mine. Although Grandma and Grandpa might disagree, I think you've gotten to be a much cleaner eater as of late. You love the challenge of eating cereal. And you love to dip anything in syrup. Dipping is one of your favorite things to do and you always narrate it: "dip! dip! dip!" Also, we put away the booster seat and let you climb up on the stool and stand, kneel, and/or sit (usually all three repeated a number of times) for meals. You really like this freedom and you don't abuse it, most of the time anyway.
You regularly talk in sentences and it's not unusual for you to put several together. Grandpa has been glowing for a month or more now about how intelligable you are. I've been understanding you for awhile now, but he sure gets a kick out of your language. Grandpa usually pops in during breakfast and lately you've been greeting him with a "no, Grandpa Lloyd!" (no blapa-Yoid). I think this started because you didn't like his scratchy morning kisses, but now it gets such a good reaction out of him you keep it up.
After breakfast we clean up and get dressed. You've started putting your plate in the sink, even though you can only reach it on your tippiest tip-toes. But you are very good at tip-toe and do it at least half of the day. You have one muscular lower half, my darling! You still love to take off and run after I get your pants on but before your shirt is on. And you love shoes of all sizes.
You play really well in the morning, you are so fresh and alive with energy and curiosity that it is a joy to watch you interact. Your favorite toys are balls, blocks, babies, and the play kitchen and it's food. At least once a day you get engrossed in books and about every other day, you clear off the entire bottom shelf of your books. You love to make food for me and bring it to me and wait til I tell you how yummy it is. The babies is a new thing, but you enjoy holding, patting, and caring for them more than Jane has (to this point, at any rate). You are very good with blocks- either wooden or duplos, I'm always impressed with your patience and dexterity. And Balls? Well, they are by far your favorite. You love to tote them around play catch. You also like necklaces or purses or anything you can put around your neck.
You love your sister and (most of the time) play nicely together. You love to do whatever she does and you've started copying her in less exciting ways, too. Like you think it's a game to complain "ow!" when I do your hair, even though you have very little and it's never tangled, you always say "ow! it hurts!" (ow! i huwts!) because Jane always does. You've also started trying out being picky at meal times and not trying something unless I force one bite into your mouth (which is never really forced, I hold your head still and you open your mouth and happily take whatever I'm giving you). It's like you want to play the same food game (Easy Way or Hard Way) that Jane plays.
Anytime you hurt anyone, or could have hurt someone, you are very quick to say "sorry!" and "it's OK!" (sowwy! iss O-Tay!) You are quick to hug and pat someone who is sad and you give your kisses liberally. You love to "tuddle" with your mommy, as well as jump and climb on whoever is holding you like they are a human jungle gym. You love to sing "Wash the Ladies Dishes" or the alternate version I made up, "Wash the Baby's Britches." You never get bored of it. You love Ring a Round the Rosies. You love to sing and are always surprising us with the lyrics and melodies you have learned. You learn and do everything with gusto, including music. You love to sit at the piano and play and sing. It's often much better than you'd expect from an 18 month old. You still fall pretty often but less often, and you haven't had a real bad head bump in a little while (knock on wood). You are always ready with a smile if you can sense a game is in the works and while Jane is motivated by logic, you are motivated by play, adventure, silliness, and anything or anyone with a twinkle their eye. You've learned to blow your nose.
You still nap once a day (yay!!) for 1-2 hours. You don't usually fight it and are pretty easy to cajole into laying down. You also wake up pretty well from naps, too. You are not usually sad or not for very long. You love to be outside and go for walks and eat snow (which you call snowman or "nohma!") and of course jump. In the afternoons, we usually go for a walk and then I let you two watch something. You love to watch Dora or Diego with your sister (but usually only with your sister) and you do know some Spanish words- like the words for climb, push, wait, (I get shouted at to stop more in Spanish than in English from both of my girls), you love to shout "olla! hello! olla!" and the last few days you even say "Buenas Suertas." You also count fairly well in both languages, although your English is better (you always leave out 4 in English). Your colors, however, are still mostly English. Although when asked, most things are "Green!" followed by "pink!" followed by "yellow!" (gween! peent! lellow!). We quite like that Dora and Jane have piqued your interest in Spanish. By the way, the Map is your favorite Dora character, followed by Boots. You love to sing the Map Song.
Speaking of songs, you recognizably sing:
Teach Me to Walk in the Light
I Am A Child of God
Nephi's Courage
3 Songs from our Harmony Kids musical (Come on In, Shine, and Give a Gift This Christmas)
You Better Watch Out
Christmas Everywhere
The Days of the Week Song
I'll Be Nice
Away in a Manger
The Wonder Pets theme song
and the Glorias from Angels We Have Heard on High
I'm sure there are more, but that's what I've got off the top of my head.
You are also advanced at all things potty. You've been telling me for a while when you are going potty. You would steal Jane's panties and put them on. And this last week you had several dry night/nap diapers. And then a few days ago you had two successful potty uses while sitting (copying) Daddy in the bathroom. So yesterday we started potty training! You are doing really well so far and seem to be getting it and enjoying it.
I'm amazed at how grown up you already are. You are learning so many things- how to be reverent, how to be patient, how to obey quickly and exactly, how to be kind, how to keep trying. Your play has started to be imaginative with characters and stories.
At about 7:00 pm, you start to get really hyper and start running around really fast in circles and jumping and rolling and giggling all kinds of hilarity. We let you run a bit and chase you a bit and get your jammies on, preferably your pink monkey jammies (you're favorite). You will always stop to read stories with us and you've added to your favorites all the potty stories, Go Away Big Green Monster, and Go Dogs Go, you even like the I'm a Big Sister book. You really love to say prayers and you don't just repeat everything I say. Sometimes you change or add things and it's really neat to see you start to understand it. You don't fight anymore for bedtime or family prayer, I think you even enjoy it. Very rarely do you fight us to get into bed. More often you don't lay down right away. But you are not a complaining child. And while you do have a strong will, you also will be persuaded. You sleep really well almost every night, cuddled up to MiMi, Mouse, Cow, and Ducky.
And you still only have three molars out. That fourth one is killing us!!
Emiline, I'm so glad the Lord sent YOU to us, WHEN He did. I can't imagine our life without you and you are a near constant source of joy, happiness, and excitement. While your energy can be exasperating, it's true, your light is inspiring. I love you, my darling non-baby. I can't wait to see you grow more and more and I hope and pray that I learn the best ways to parent, nurture, discipline, encourage, and adore you.
Love,
Mommy.
Please forgive your mother for the number of posts I didn't write about you. I adore you and treasure you and if you are ever tempted to compare the number of posts about Jane to the number of posts about you in your early life, I want you to know that all my posting about Jane had much more to do with me becoming a mother than about Jane as my daughter. Besides, she doesn't have a Milestone Marker.
I'm about 20 days late here, but I wanted to write about you at 18 months. There is soooo much to say and feel about you. You're energy is unflagging, you're delight in games and laughing and fun is limitless, you are an intense joy to me. So here is a typical story of a day with Emiline.
You usually wake up early, around 6:30 or so. You are learning to be more and more quiet as you learn more and more to follow Jane's example (in all things, I might add!) But sooner or later, you get excited for the day and your excited shrieking to Jane about one game or another, the sound of you jumping in bed, or your happy songs very quickly draw me to your room. As soon as I open the door, you become silent waiting to see what I'll do, what game I'll play. Sometimes you even pretend to be asleep and then shriek and giggle when I turn on the light. You are always ready with a "morning!" (mahnin!) and a good morning kiss. Then we change your bum, and you always play your "bum up!" game. Lately you want to wipe yourself and I let you, but only after I explained that "mommy first, then Emiline." Now when we wipe, you tell me who goes first! You have gotten so much better at being patient and I love to hear you say in a sing song voice "patiently!" (paslahley!).
As soon as I zip up your jammies you jump (literally) and run (literally) out of the room towards the kitchen. You are a fabulous eater in the morning and will usually eat twice what Jane does in the same amount of time, or less. I always get your food first, then Jane's, then your seconds, then Daddy's, then sometimes your thirds, and then mine. Although Grandma and Grandpa might disagree, I think you've gotten to be a much cleaner eater as of late. You love the challenge of eating cereal. And you love to dip anything in syrup. Dipping is one of your favorite things to do and you always narrate it: "dip! dip! dip!" Also, we put away the booster seat and let you climb up on the stool and stand, kneel, and/or sit (usually all three repeated a number of times) for meals. You really like this freedom and you don't abuse it, most of the time anyway.
You regularly talk in sentences and it's not unusual for you to put several together. Grandpa has been glowing for a month or more now about how intelligable you are. I've been understanding you for awhile now, but he sure gets a kick out of your language. Grandpa usually pops in during breakfast and lately you've been greeting him with a "no, Grandpa Lloyd!" (no blapa-Yoid). I think this started because you didn't like his scratchy morning kisses, but now it gets such a good reaction out of him you keep it up.
After breakfast we clean up and get dressed. You've started putting your plate in the sink, even though you can only reach it on your tippiest tip-toes. But you are very good at tip-toe and do it at least half of the day. You have one muscular lower half, my darling! You still love to take off and run after I get your pants on but before your shirt is on. And you love shoes of all sizes.
You play really well in the morning, you are so fresh and alive with energy and curiosity that it is a joy to watch you interact. Your favorite toys are balls, blocks, babies, and the play kitchen and it's food. At least once a day you get engrossed in books and about every other day, you clear off the entire bottom shelf of your books. You love to make food for me and bring it to me and wait til I tell you how yummy it is. The babies is a new thing, but you enjoy holding, patting, and caring for them more than Jane has (to this point, at any rate). You are very good with blocks- either wooden or duplos, I'm always impressed with your patience and dexterity. And Balls? Well, they are by far your favorite. You love to tote them around play catch. You also like necklaces or purses or anything you can put around your neck.
You love your sister and (most of the time) play nicely together. You love to do whatever she does and you've started copying her in less exciting ways, too. Like you think it's a game to complain "ow!" when I do your hair, even though you have very little and it's never tangled, you always say "ow! it hurts!" (ow! i huwts!) because Jane always does. You've also started trying out being picky at meal times and not trying something unless I force one bite into your mouth (which is never really forced, I hold your head still and you open your mouth and happily take whatever I'm giving you). It's like you want to play the same food game (Easy Way or Hard Way) that Jane plays.
Anytime you hurt anyone, or could have hurt someone, you are very quick to say "sorry!" and "it's OK!" (sowwy! iss O-Tay!) You are quick to hug and pat someone who is sad and you give your kisses liberally. You love to "tuddle" with your mommy, as well as jump and climb on whoever is holding you like they are a human jungle gym. You love to sing "Wash the Ladies Dishes" or the alternate version I made up, "Wash the Baby's Britches." You never get bored of it. You love Ring a Round the Rosies. You love to sing and are always surprising us with the lyrics and melodies you have learned. You learn and do everything with gusto, including music. You love to sit at the piano and play and sing. It's often much better than you'd expect from an 18 month old. You still fall pretty often but less often, and you haven't had a real bad head bump in a little while (knock on wood). You are always ready with a smile if you can sense a game is in the works and while Jane is motivated by logic, you are motivated by play, adventure, silliness, and anything or anyone with a twinkle their eye. You've learned to blow your nose.
You still nap once a day (yay!!) for 1-2 hours. You don't usually fight it and are pretty easy to cajole into laying down. You also wake up pretty well from naps, too. You are not usually sad or not for very long. You love to be outside and go for walks and eat snow (which you call snowman or "nohma!") and of course jump. In the afternoons, we usually go for a walk and then I let you two watch something. You love to watch Dora or Diego with your sister (but usually only with your sister) and you do know some Spanish words- like the words for climb, push, wait, (I get shouted at to stop more in Spanish than in English from both of my girls), you love to shout "olla! hello! olla!" and the last few days you even say "Buenas Suertas." You also count fairly well in both languages, although your English is better (you always leave out 4 in English). Your colors, however, are still mostly English. Although when asked, most things are "Green!" followed by "pink!" followed by "yellow!" (gween! peent! lellow!). We quite like that Dora and Jane have piqued your interest in Spanish. By the way, the Map is your favorite Dora character, followed by Boots. You love to sing the Map Song.
Speaking of songs, you recognizably sing:
Teach Me to Walk in the Light
I Am A Child of God
Nephi's Courage
3 Songs from our Harmony Kids musical (Come on In, Shine, and Give a Gift This Christmas)
You Better Watch Out
Christmas Everywhere
The Days of the Week Song
I'll Be Nice
Away in a Manger
The Wonder Pets theme song
and the Glorias from Angels We Have Heard on High
I'm sure there are more, but that's what I've got off the top of my head.
You are also advanced at all things potty. You've been telling me for a while when you are going potty. You would steal Jane's panties and put them on. And this last week you had several dry night/nap diapers. And then a few days ago you had two successful potty uses while sitting (copying) Daddy in the bathroom. So yesterday we started potty training! You are doing really well so far and seem to be getting it and enjoying it.
I'm amazed at how grown up you already are. You are learning so many things- how to be reverent, how to be patient, how to obey quickly and exactly, how to be kind, how to keep trying. Your play has started to be imaginative with characters and stories.
At about 7:00 pm, you start to get really hyper and start running around really fast in circles and jumping and rolling and giggling all kinds of hilarity. We let you run a bit and chase you a bit and get your jammies on, preferably your pink monkey jammies (you're favorite). You will always stop to read stories with us and you've added to your favorites all the potty stories, Go Away Big Green Monster, and Go Dogs Go, you even like the I'm a Big Sister book. You really love to say prayers and you don't just repeat everything I say. Sometimes you change or add things and it's really neat to see you start to understand it. You don't fight anymore for bedtime or family prayer, I think you even enjoy it. Very rarely do you fight us to get into bed. More often you don't lay down right away. But you are not a complaining child. And while you do have a strong will, you also will be persuaded. You sleep really well almost every night, cuddled up to MiMi, Mouse, Cow, and Ducky.
And you still only have three molars out. That fourth one is killing us!!
Emiline, I'm so glad the Lord sent YOU to us, WHEN He did. I can't imagine our life without you and you are a near constant source of joy, happiness, and excitement. While your energy can be exasperating, it's true, your light is inspiring. I love you, my darling non-baby. I can't wait to see you grow more and more and I hope and pray that I learn the best ways to parent, nurture, discipline, encourage, and adore you.
Love,
Mommy.
Post-Play Fun
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After the play was over, we decided to slow things down a lot and just spend time together doing fun, family, Christmas things. So of course we made gingerbread houses! These were so simple but the kids had so much fun. Amazing the hours of enjoyment a box of graham crackers can supply.
Joy Factory- the Children's Musical
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Here's a few photos from "How I Spent my Fall of 2011" or the Children's Musical my mom and I co-directed and produced for Christmas this year. It was such a cute story, about a toy store named The Joy Factory where the toys come alive when everyone is gone. And about a sweet family who are struggling financially but still remember the importance of giving at Christmas time. We had a lot of fun, and all things considered, we did a lot better than we probably should have for a cast so young, such limited rehearsal time, and with so much new music to learn.It was a really sweet experience and a TON of work. I think we're going to make it an annual thing, now that the bulk of the work is done, next year should go even better and will be more enjoyable for us producers!
We posted the rest of the pics to the new Harmony Kids Facebook Page. We'd actually like to hear from old students for our 25th Anniversary Spring Sing this 2012, so if you sang, please go visit the page and like it so we can contact you.
Yeesh!
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I can't believe how spotty my posting has been lately. Gotta say, my life in Idaho kind of sucks me in at the moment, as in makes me a little too internal.
But here's just a quick laugh for you all. While sitting in church the other day, Jane, who's been quite snuggly lately, was sitting on my lap face to face and patting my cheeks and just generally examining my face. She asked me (again) what was that "circle fing" on my face, my mole. Then she asked where I got it. I told her from my daddy, Grandpa Lloyd. She thought for just a second and then said "You should give them back."
I've been thinking about this idea for awhile, and I'm finally acting on it thanks to a GREAT visit from my dear friend Bree today. I'm starting a blog that's sole purpose is to archive the funny things my kids say. Because, yes, even Emiline is hooting it up these days. So here it is for those of you that want to follow:
http://kidletconvos.blogspot.com/
But here's just a quick laugh for you all. While sitting in church the other day, Jane, who's been quite snuggly lately, was sitting on my lap face to face and patting my cheeks and just generally examining my face. She asked me (again) what was that "circle fing" on my face, my mole. Then she asked where I got it. I told her from my daddy, Grandpa Lloyd. She thought for just a second and then said "You should give them back."
I've been thinking about this idea for awhile, and I'm finally acting on it thanks to a GREAT visit from my dear friend Bree today. I'm starting a blog that's sole purpose is to archive the funny things my kids say. Because, yes, even Emiline is hooting it up these days. So here it is for those of you that want to follow:
http://kidletconvos.blogspot.com/
Six Months Today
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It's only been six months since we lost little Mal. It's been sweet to talk about it with my girls today, Emiline ran into their room and grabbed the little framed picture of the nightstand and brought it to me and said "Mallory!" She's in there now lying on the bed saying "hi!" to her and babbling. Jane drew a picture of Mallory, so cute with curly hair, huge eyes and a smile all in pink and then blue clouds for heaven. I feel sort of at a loss as how to describe my feelings or what to say to Mallory's family. I'll I've got is: 
2 Reasons I Feel Clever
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1) Emiline says binky "mi mi." She had really started to get attached to it, and I didn't want it to become a lovey if we could avoid it. Over the last month, we've been looking for opportunities to withhold the binky, like not giving it to her unless she asks, then quickly distracting her if she started to ask, and then after she hadn't been using it regularly, it got lost for a few days. We kept it out of sight, too. At about the same time, she started falling in love with a stuffed dolly, so we decided to name it Mimi. It only happened a few times were she asked for "mi mi" and we gave her the doll that she was initially unsatisfied. Now it's regularly successful. Woot! Woot (knock on wood!) Nevermind that she's started sleeping with her hand down the back of her diaper...
2) For what seems like forever, we have been insisting that Jane "explore" her food, and nothing more. We made her smell it, mush it, swirl it, and we'd ask her questions about it to try and help her not be afraid of it and try to get her to play with it (our version of food therapy). After a while, we would make her just try one bite. If she did and didn't like it, then she could have something else. There were some successes here, we did increase her number of acceptable foods, even got her eating a little meat. But it also went on forever and it after a while it seemed like Jane really enjoyed the drama of refusing the bite and then coaxing her to eat one, etc., etc. So I figured she was big enough to suck it up and eat more than one bite. One night when Eric was gone, I ended up force feeding her three bites of a hamburger, I think it was. There were a lot of tears. But after that, I told her she could eat the rest of her hamburger the easy way or the hard way. And she did. And she's since had a whole bunch of other foods with minimal fuss, stuff she was terrified of even just a few months ago. We've only had to repeat the hard way one more time, even. Today I made "cheesy toast." Bread, tuna, and cheese broiled, something Jane has had a fit over in the past. Grandma came up stairs and talked to Jane about the recipe for Cheesy Toast (she's been into the difference between a recipe and ingredients lately). I put it on her plate along with apples and carrots, and without even asking, Jane had 3 bites!! And with just two reminders to eat her food instead of "rain" her carrots (pretend they were rain), she ate the whole thing! I'm kinda dumfounded and super pleased. I'm glad that it seems we have just about beat the picky eater thing! Woot! Woot! (knock on wood).
Achievement Calendar
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While pregnant with Emiline, I made what I call an Achievement Calendar. I was worried that I wouldn't take enough pictures, write enough notes, scrapbook or blog enough about my second child. So I made a calendar 18 months long that was pretty and went with the decor in the girls' room. Each page has a quote about babies or parenting and a space for a 4x6 picture. It's all prettied up, of course and then the calendar part is left wide open, leaving me space to write all the cute things and milestones, etc of my second born. Well, I wish I'd done it for Jane! Tonight I added the last few months of pictures and took some time to read through the calendar and reminisce on my baby turned toddler. It was a pretty nice night.
The last few days have been... um, well, difficult. I don't know what my deal is exactly, I have plenty of external reasons to feel all dumpy (lost jobs, etc), but I have plenty of internal ones not to. At any rate, I've not been myself. My kids have been sick all week and more needy, and Thursday I did my own sort of therapy: creating. In particular, banging out Halloween costumes and other craft projects that had been at a stand still. It was good for me, but I'm pretty sure my kids picked up on my distraction. Today was a particularly frustrating, exhausting, and anxiety causing day. But I got the kids (mostly) fed, more or less bathed, and even picked up their room, then to bed with moderate crying. When things died down, I happened to have the house to myself. So I drank my Raspberry Leaf Tea, listened to Pandora, and finished up a few organizational and pretty projects, including the calendar.
It was such a great moment for me to reflect on the joy my children bring me. Updating the calendar with things like "sat on the pew at church with a hymnal and "sang" so seriously and intently" or "while getting dressed, ran off before I got your shirt on. You said "no shirt, Mommy, I don't like it" or "I asked what you were doing and you said 'teasing Jane'" or "says the cutest 'I Love You' [lub loo]"
And then I think about Jane's joy when I took the time yesterday to lay down with her during quiet time. She kept rolling over and hugging me and patting my face and saying things like "today is the best day ever!" all because I was right there with her. I feel it so keenly, small children NEED their moms, or at least mine do. And I'm glad I'm able to be there for them right now.
The last few days have been... um, well, difficult. I don't know what my deal is exactly, I have plenty of external reasons to feel all dumpy (lost jobs, etc), but I have plenty of internal ones not to. At any rate, I've not been myself. My kids have been sick all week and more needy, and Thursday I did my own sort of therapy: creating. In particular, banging out Halloween costumes and other craft projects that had been at a stand still. It was good for me, but I'm pretty sure my kids picked up on my distraction. Today was a particularly frustrating, exhausting, and anxiety causing day. But I got the kids (mostly) fed, more or less bathed, and even picked up their room, then to bed with moderate crying. When things died down, I happened to have the house to myself. So I drank my Raspberry Leaf Tea, listened to Pandora, and finished up a few organizational and pretty projects, including the calendar.
It was such a great moment for me to reflect on the joy my children bring me. Updating the calendar with things like "sat on the pew at church with a hymnal and "sang" so seriously and intently" or "while getting dressed, ran off before I got your shirt on. You said "no shirt, Mommy, I don't like it" or "I asked what you were doing and you said 'teasing Jane'" or "says the cutest 'I Love You' [lub loo]"
And then I think about Jane's joy when I took the time yesterday to lay down with her during quiet time. She kept rolling over and hugging me and patting my face and saying things like "today is the best day ever!" all because I was right there with her. I feel it so keenly, small children NEED their moms, or at least mine do. And I'm glad I'm able to be there for them right now.
Because I don't post enough pictures of Emiline
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Emiline is so stinkin' cute. Such a doll, but so hard to capture on camera. She's talking all the time now, describing what she's doing in single word sentences, asking for things in three word demands, and oh! does she love to laugh!
I'm a Mean Old Witch...
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This is a favorite Halloween song I learned in my mother's singing group, Harmony Kids. Well, Jane joins with the four years olds every Monday (and so does Emiline, actually), down in my mom's studio for singing. The first thing she asks when she wakes up Monday is "is time for singing?" Definitely her favorite day of the week. So we took a quick video of her singing the song. Enjoy!
The Rainbow Connection
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A recent Facebook discussion got me thinking about my decision to go to grad school. That, and The Rainbow Connection cycled through on the kids' Pandora station today and it's been on the back of my mind. The song and my decision are actually related. So hold on to your seats for a little walk down memory lane (I love it when a mixing of metaphors is contradictory!).
I went back and forth about grad school a lot before I even applied. Part of me always wanted to do it for the same reason I wanted to get straight As. What was that reason? I'm still not quite sure. I still can't articulate it satisfactorily. But I hit a point around the ripe old age of 23 or so where I decided that I was going to just do my life and stop waiting around for things out of my control. See, my first choice job has always been an all-the-time, in-your-face, nurture-iffic mom. And I didn't want to do anything that would jeopardize my availability for that. So I turned down secondary education because I knew that was a one or the other job for me. But I also knew that I would be a really, really, really good teacher and that I would love it. So then I decided that getting more education and teaching college classes would be more ideal, definitely more flexible and if I never did get a shot at that first choice job, I'd at least have something to do that I loved, was good at, and that I found meaning in.
So I went for it. I wrote a 90+ page honor's thesis, I took the GRE, I learned Spanish, and I did it. I found out I was accepted to UT a few weeks after I had met Eric and I had committed to go a few weeks before we got serious. (yeah, we moved fast)
Most of my family assumed that now that I'd found my man that my plan of going to grad school, which had become a sort of dream during the few years previous, would be tossed aside. Eric had a good job in Vegas, we had family there, I was all set to graduate with my BA, it sounded nice and tidy. I could settle into my first-choice job quite nicely. I had said I was ready. But there was something about grad school I couldn't totally let go of, even though in my heart, I was sooooo ready to start a family.
Towards the end of the summer, when Eric and I knew we would get married, but months and months before we actually got engaged, I was at his house working on statistics, with his help, of course. And The Rainbow Connection, Sarah McLaughlin version, cycled through on the iPod. The line
"Have you been half asleep, or have you heard voices?
I've heard them calling my name.
Is it the sweet sound that calls the young sailors?
The voice might be one and the same.
I've heard it too many times to ignore it,
its something that I'm supposed to be..."
Now, I've always loved that song, and been fascinated by the cadence made up entirely of a repeating fifth interval. But that day, crazy as it sounds, the Spirit touched me through that song. There was something in Texas for me, something that I was supposed to become. And I needed to go. For me.
We went for a walk one evening to talk about it. I remember it so clearly, the light in Vegas is so hot that it changes the shape and feel of the shadows. The air felt clearer that night, as hot and stifling as it should have been, I breathed deep on that walk and Eric and counseled about this decision. One of the first things that caught my eye about Eric was when I told him I was headed to grad school and he was impressed with that and didn't see that as an obstacle to pursuing me. If it was right, he'd follow me. (Granted, in those early months, he didn't think I'd actually go). We both agreed, I needed to go.
So I went. And for a majority of the time, I hated it. It was, in a lot of ways, a soul-crushing experience. It deadened inside of me a lot of the things I had loved about literature and theory. It deflated my creativity. And I wondered oh-so-many times what the heck I had done. Now, there were bright spots. There were some truly amazing people I met. There was so much I learned about myself without even realizing I was learning. There were some really exciting moments intellectually, all though a whole lot fewer than I ever thought there would be. There was also a lot of growing up (and I thought, and I think I was, really mature). I did get my Master's Degree there, but also more debt. And for a few years I wondered what the point of it was, what I had really gotten out of it. See, I couldn't point my finger at any one thing I got, that was truly useful to my eternal development.
We left Austin a little over three years ago. We are back in Idaho, living in my parent's house while my husband looks for a legal job in the crappiest legal economy ever. My Master's degree got me a pretty sweet regular tutoring job that I can bring my kids to. I'm also teaching a night class for the local community college, and that is truly a delightful experience. I can see the forest for the trees now. I can see that it was worth it for the opportunities I now have. But, more than that, I can feel the Rainbow Connection. So often in our lives, in our decisions, we stand at one end of the rainbow wondering what's on the other side. The rainbow isn't something we can touch or measure or quantify, so something in us turns to song to process it. I'd been singing my rainbow song for years trying to make sense of myself, my desires, my femininity, my responsibility, my thoughts, and how all of that fit into the world. I had heard something calling my name, but I thought it was coming from outside. I thought I had an external journey, more learning and training, to go on in order to become whatever it was I was supposed to be.
I think I am the rainbow. All of us are. And we stand at one end wondering where the other end is going to end up. Wondering what we are, what we are made of and yet amazed and awed by the potential within us. And that's the voice, calling us to recognize and nourish the seeds of divinity within.
In my religion and in the culture that has grown out of it, there is a great focus on the sanctity of motherhood and that crowning blessing of all men and women that is children and family. There were times that I wondered if that was the "all" there was to my worth. I had no idea how vast and expansive that "all" was, which I chuckle about all the time now. And even though I wanted husband, children, family more than any other thing in the world, I also didn't want to become defined only by them. I'm essentializing here, but it seems that women are so good at losing themselves to that or who they love, whether that's loved ones, work, a cause, a hobby, whatever. And not in "he that loseth his life for My sake shall find it" sort of way, but the Lost and Never Found sort of way. In my church, I have been asked to teach the 12 and 13 year old girls once a week on a set of proscribed lesson materials. And I worry what message they are hearing. I want them to hear the Lord's. I want them to hear the Spirit's. And I want them to hear their own. I want them to hear their own call, because that's who they are.
And let's end with a Regina Spektor Connection:
It started out as a feeling
Which then grew into a hope
Which then turned into a quiet thought
Which then turned into a quiet word
And then that word grew louder and louder
'Til it was a battle cry
I'll come back
When you call me
No need to say goodbye
You know, the life of a young mother is one of little time for yourself. And I hope that every woman, before she enters into that amazing responsibility and joy, also has the opportunity to answer her own call, or at least hear the "quiet word." I want her to get a sense of who she is before she is Mother and Everything to her little ones, so that it doesn't get drowned out or turned off or lost. Because life moves on, children grow, and then there is time and opportunity and so much skill and passion in us to shout our battle cry. When we "return" from our motherly missions, we'll be ready to answer another call. There is no need to say goodbye.
I went back and forth about grad school a lot before I even applied. Part of me always wanted to do it for the same reason I wanted to get straight As. What was that reason? I'm still not quite sure. I still can't articulate it satisfactorily. But I hit a point around the ripe old age of 23 or so where I decided that I was going to just do my life and stop waiting around for things out of my control. See, my first choice job has always been an all-the-time, in-your-face, nurture-iffic mom. And I didn't want to do anything that would jeopardize my availability for that. So I turned down secondary education because I knew that was a one or the other job for me. But I also knew that I would be a really, really, really good teacher and that I would love it. So then I decided that getting more education and teaching college classes would be more ideal, definitely more flexible and if I never did get a shot at that first choice job, I'd at least have something to do that I loved, was good at, and that I found meaning in.
So I went for it. I wrote a 90+ page honor's thesis, I took the GRE, I learned Spanish, and I did it. I found out I was accepted to UT a few weeks after I had met Eric and I had committed to go a few weeks before we got serious. (yeah, we moved fast)
Most of my family assumed that now that I'd found my man that my plan of going to grad school, which had become a sort of dream during the few years previous, would be tossed aside. Eric had a good job in Vegas, we had family there, I was all set to graduate with my BA, it sounded nice and tidy. I could settle into my first-choice job quite nicely. I had said I was ready. But there was something about grad school I couldn't totally let go of, even though in my heart, I was sooooo ready to start a family.
Towards the end of the summer, when Eric and I knew we would get married, but months and months before we actually got engaged, I was at his house working on statistics, with his help, of course. And The Rainbow Connection, Sarah McLaughlin version, cycled through on the iPod. The line
"Have you been half asleep, or have you heard voices?
I've heard them calling my name.
Is it the sweet sound that calls the young sailors?
The voice might be one and the same.
I've heard it too many times to ignore it,
its something that I'm supposed to be..."
Now, I've always loved that song, and been fascinated by the cadence made up entirely of a repeating fifth interval. But that day, crazy as it sounds, the Spirit touched me through that song. There was something in Texas for me, something that I was supposed to become. And I needed to go. For me.
We went for a walk one evening to talk about it. I remember it so clearly, the light in Vegas is so hot that it changes the shape and feel of the shadows. The air felt clearer that night, as hot and stifling as it should have been, I breathed deep on that walk and Eric and counseled about this decision. One of the first things that caught my eye about Eric was when I told him I was headed to grad school and he was impressed with that and didn't see that as an obstacle to pursuing me. If it was right, he'd follow me. (Granted, in those early months, he didn't think I'd actually go). We both agreed, I needed to go.
So I went. And for a majority of the time, I hated it. It was, in a lot of ways, a soul-crushing experience. It deadened inside of me a lot of the things I had loved about literature and theory. It deflated my creativity. And I wondered oh-so-many times what the heck I had done. Now, there were bright spots. There were some truly amazing people I met. There was so much I learned about myself without even realizing I was learning. There were some really exciting moments intellectually, all though a whole lot fewer than I ever thought there would be. There was also a lot of growing up (and I thought, and I think I was, really mature). I did get my Master's Degree there, but also more debt. And for a few years I wondered what the point of it was, what I had really gotten out of it. See, I couldn't point my finger at any one thing I got, that was truly useful to my eternal development.
We left Austin a little over three years ago. We are back in Idaho, living in my parent's house while my husband looks for a legal job in the crappiest legal economy ever. My Master's degree got me a pretty sweet regular tutoring job that I can bring my kids to. I'm also teaching a night class for the local community college, and that is truly a delightful experience. I can see the forest for the trees now. I can see that it was worth it for the opportunities I now have. But, more than that, I can feel the Rainbow Connection. So often in our lives, in our decisions, we stand at one end of the rainbow wondering what's on the other side. The rainbow isn't something we can touch or measure or quantify, so something in us turns to song to process it. I'd been singing my rainbow song for years trying to make sense of myself, my desires, my femininity, my responsibility, my thoughts, and how all of that fit into the world. I had heard something calling my name, but I thought it was coming from outside. I thought I had an external journey, more learning and training, to go on in order to become whatever it was I was supposed to be.
I think I am the rainbow. All of us are. And we stand at one end wondering where the other end is going to end up. Wondering what we are, what we are made of and yet amazed and awed by the potential within us. And that's the voice, calling us to recognize and nourish the seeds of divinity within.
In my religion and in the culture that has grown out of it, there is a great focus on the sanctity of motherhood and that crowning blessing of all men and women that is children and family. There were times that I wondered if that was the "all" there was to my worth. I had no idea how vast and expansive that "all" was, which I chuckle about all the time now. And even though I wanted husband, children, family more than any other thing in the world, I also didn't want to become defined only by them. I'm essentializing here, but it seems that women are so good at losing themselves to that or who they love, whether that's loved ones, work, a cause, a hobby, whatever. And not in "he that loseth his life for My sake shall find it" sort of way, but the Lost and Never Found sort of way. In my church, I have been asked to teach the 12 and 13 year old girls once a week on a set of proscribed lesson materials. And I worry what message they are hearing. I want them to hear the Lord's. I want them to hear the Spirit's. And I want them to hear their own. I want them to hear their own call, because that's who they are.
And let's end with a Regina Spektor Connection:
It started out as a feeling
Which then grew into a hope
Which then turned into a quiet thought
Which then turned into a quiet word
And then that word grew louder and louder
'Til it was a battle cry
I'll come back
When you call me
No need to say goodbye
You know, the life of a young mother is one of little time for yourself. And I hope that every woman, before she enters into that amazing responsibility and joy, also has the opportunity to answer her own call, or at least hear the "quiet word." I want her to get a sense of who she is before she is Mother and Everything to her little ones, so that it doesn't get drowned out or turned off or lost. Because life moves on, children grow, and then there is time and opportunity and so much skill and passion in us to shout our battle cry. When we "return" from our motherly missions, we'll be ready to answer another call. There is no need to say goodbye.
Late Night Blogging
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OK, so it wasn't THAT late, but it was past Jane's bedtime. The girls usually go to bed at the same time, but Emiline was especially tired that night and Jane insisted she wasn't. So while I was waiting for her to brush her teeth and wash her face and hands, I started a blog entry. Well, it got a little too quiet in the bathroom and when I went to check, this is what I found!
She still has her feet in the bathroom!
She still has her feet in the bathroom!
Family Home Evening
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After General Conference yesterday, Eric and I were both extremely touched by the new fund the Church has put together to help people attending the temple for the first time. We've decided to donate to that fund and help the girls save their "monies" to help, too. So we printed out the above picture with the caption "Helping Other Families Be Together Forever" and put it on a jar. We talked about how much we love each other and how much we love to be together and how we never want to be apart. We then talked about what it means to be sealed using a simple object lesson. We talked about sweet Mallory and how, because we are sealed, we will see her again and be with her forever. Eric showed a picture of the world and how lucky we are to have so many temples close to us and how lots of places in the world do not live close to a temple at all and how hard it would be for a family to not be able to be sealed. Then we let the girls do a few jobs (put away toys, etc) to earn some coins to put in the jar. Boy, were they excited! It was the best part of the whole lesson for Emiline! We'll see how long they stay interested in it, but are going to do our best to fill the jar this week (it's a small jar) and then turn it in on Sunday. Next week for Family Home Evening, we'll head to the temple.
Emiline's First Haircut
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It was time, she was getting pretty shaggy. And I was OK with the fact that she's NOT a baby anymore, so I knew I 'd be OK with how much older she would look. My genius sister did it again, even cut her a bob with some small layering in the back. And we decided to go with bangs to cover up the almost constant bruise she pretty much always has on her head (the most recent is a dooooo-zzzy!). I didn't want her to look at her toddler pictures and be like "Geesh Mom! Were you constantly dropping me on my head, or what???"
The Bruise!
The AfterMy Husband, The Lawyer
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It's official! Eric is now a lawyer, all sworn in and everything. Did you know they swear them and everything? He took an oath with 89 other Idaho Bar Admittees, the same oath they've been swearing since 1800-something. The ceremony was in Boise at the state capitol and me, my mom, and the girls came to watch. It was actually a pretty neat thing. There were two judges that spoke, one from the 9th Circuit Court of Appeals, and they were both very Idaho!! (i.e. awesome!) One judge phrased his advice to the new lawyers in idioms, appropriate to Idahoans and those that strive to be, that made me smile and sigh in big breaths of fresh air. My favorite was "Don't Squat With Your Spurs On," meaning, play nice with the other lawyers. Be ethical and a good person. We were also told to laugh and define your own success and several other good pieces of advice. Oh, and the Idaho Bar is the best bar in the country. That came up a few times ;-)It's really incredible to be "done" with this whole thing. I mean, we still have a long row to hoe, and there might be more school and more lean times for a while, but he DID IT! He ran that gauntlet and won! And he did well! But more importantly, he did well enough. He didn't sacrifice our marriage or family in the process. Sure, there were a lot of exceptions we made and we certainly weren't living the kind of life balance we hope to get to eventually. But neither did he let school consume him, not all the time at least ;-) He made some tough calls on how to allocate his time and I think he did a bang up job. I couldn't be prouder of my husband.
Just Happy.
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Today was a really good day. And the thing is, I'm not totally sure why. So I'm writing this post to figure it out so I can get More Happy, and I'm going to do some contrasting with what I've decided in my mind what equals a good day. This is all really just for me and my posterity, so feel free to skip it.
Woke up 7-ish. Kids where already up and got to at least kiss Eric goodbye before he left for the day.
IDEALLY: I'd get up at 6:00, do some yoga/stretching, some breathing/mediation, some prayer and scripture study, short walk and make breakfast before the kids wake up.
Greeted the kids excitedly (forced) and got right to making breakfast- oatmeal pancakes and strawberry orange smoothie. Yum. Kids ate pretty well, some teething fussiness from E and just the usual mealtime dance with J.
IDEALLY: It would have gone a lot faster. I did get the kitchen tidied, though, but it all took til nearly 9:00.
Really, really tired and cold, I talked J, and even E for a bit, into snuggling up with me and watching a perfectly frivolous Australian teen series called H20, Just Add Water about girls that turn into mermaids if they get wet. She'll watch it because they always become mermaids at least once in the show and while Dora doesn't bug me to have on, I don't like to watch it.
IDEALLY: Yay, I'm not the a.m. TV kinda girl. So I was really tired. And crazy cold for some reason. The idea is that we are through our "To Do" book, pictures of all the things J is supposed to do in the morning, before 8:30...
Still really, really tired and cold. So I turn on Laurie Berkner for the kids. And send myself to my room for scripture study. I text Eric about how cold and tired I am and I kind of resign myself to a long day. I snuggled up in bed and read my scriptures for a bit, till just after 10:00. Behind much?
Then, somehow, I found some energy. We got going and did everything on our list, which includes J making her bed (with help), getting dressed (with help), brushing teeth, washing face, sweeping up breakfast mess, reading scriptures (which was quite sweet this particular day), a handful of other things, and wiggling: We turn on the Wiggles and we all dance. J is getting pretty good at a couple of the moves. This took us to 11:30!! Behind much?
Then we got out the play dough, something E had never touched before, and they played and I did something I hate to do- financial type calls. They give me anxiety and an upset stomach. But the kids where playing nicely and it had to be done so I just sucked it up and did it. And it wasn't too bad, actually. Great to not have to worry about it!
Then we did lunch, clean up lunch, and bedtime for E, quiet time for J and I worked on some stuff for Harmony Kids. My mom has had this singing group for 25 years now and I'm helping (again). This year we are putting on a Christmas musical and so I was getting some audition materials ready to go. It was enjoyable and a productive use of my quiet time.
IDEALLY: I'm still not sure what is supposed to be the best use of my quiet time. I've thought about using it for exercise or creative writing or painting or working or something I can't really do with the kids awake...I just know I'm not supposed to let it flit away, I'm supposed to utilize it today, which I did.
This brought us to 2:30 and J was up and eager for singing time to start. I finished some things I'd been making for the studio and got them up on the wall and then E woke up and singing started. Today I was down there off and on for the 3 hours of lessons. So it was mostly a circuit of teaching drama basics, herding toddlers, and cooking dinner (Mondays are always a big dinner night for me, don't know why).
Which brought us to 6:00. I was feeling pretty awesome for the things I'd taught the kids and how good they are and for the glimpse of how fun the next few months of putting this thing together is going to be. And because dinner was really tasty. And because Eric was home. And because everyone liked dinner. J and E were especially challenging during the meal and required quite a bit of focused, calm attention, but it was no problem. Dessert was baking pleasantly in the oven and I was putting out the kid's fires left and right with style. Then the kids went out to jump on the tramp and I got an FHE lesson together and we did that (not the best FHE, but we did it!) Then it was PJs and stories and bedtime and then Eric went to bed too and I've had the last hour and a half to write emails and blog and check FB for a few minutes.
I DIDN'T exercise (yet?) - we didn't go on a walk and I didn't do any stretching or strength training. I was NOT well rested, but I did eat and drink VERY well today.
I DIDN'T do anything crafty, but I was a bit creative in the singing stuff I prepared and taught. The only learning I did was in my scripture study. And I DID have a long enough break from childrens' voices.
So, what are the things that made today great? (not in order of importance. Except #1)
1. Reading my scriptures. Hand's down, that one is a game changer. I've noticed for me, though, it has to be done before 3:00 or it doesn't do as much. Morning is best.
2. Not expecting too much. I woke up so tired and couldn't shake it for so long, I think my low expectations for the day had a little to do with it's success....hmmmm...not sure how I feel about that one.
3. Teaching and doing with my kids what I know I'm supposed to do, like reading scriptures, and teaching Jane good hygiene and cleaning habits, and cuddling and loving and playing with them.
4. Doing something that I'm particularly good at that benefits others- getting the audition materials ready and teaching the kids some drama basics was a nice little kick in my day, reminding me of past-awesome-i-tude and talent in areas I don't utilize much these days. Also, it wasn't stressful AT ALL preparing for it! I was a little stressed prepping for preschool the other day, lots of rushing around. There was NONE with this.
5. Cooking. Cooking something tasty. Cooking something everyone likes. Cooking something healthy. And planning it was a cinch, no wasted minutes of scratching my head figuring what the crap to make. All those add up to Joy. I really do love to cook on all those levels.
6. Chatting with my mom about several things throughout the day. Even though we live here, she's gone A LOT. It's amazing how much we don't talk, actually. But we had several nice, short conversations about things here and there.
7. Calling about the financial stuff. It really was a weight that was lifted for me, AND there is always that little kick back of pride in doing something that is normally hard for me.
8. Blogging/Emailing. Yep, kinda love it. It's not that I forget how much happier it makes me, it's that I guilt myself out of it thinking there is something else I should be working on.
So, how do I replicate this day? I think my scripture study was HUGE this morning. I didn't just read, but I got really thoughtful about certain aspects of my parenting and my role as a mom right now in our situation. There are a lot of reasons to worry these days. And there are a lot of things I have no control over. But I have total control over my parenting and those kids are my top priority, no matter what else is going on in our lives. If we had a dream (or a tolerable) job already and our own place and whatever else, I would still be focusing on exactly what I'm focusing on. That was pretty comforting, sustaining thought today and I chewed on it all day. I think I need to chew on something everyday.
All right, so I'm sorta spent all of a sudden and I kind of want to go on and pontificate some more and push for some more answers but the tired wave just hit me, and I know from experience if I don't go to bed now, I'll be up past 11:00. And that, plus molars coming in for E, could make for ugly tomorrow.
Woke up 7-ish. Kids where already up and got to at least kiss Eric goodbye before he left for the day.
IDEALLY: I'd get up at 6:00, do some yoga/stretching, some breathing/mediation, some prayer and scripture study, short walk and make breakfast before the kids wake up.
Greeted the kids excitedly (forced) and got right to making breakfast- oatmeal pancakes and strawberry orange smoothie. Yum. Kids ate pretty well, some teething fussiness from E and just the usual mealtime dance with J.
IDEALLY: It would have gone a lot faster. I did get the kitchen tidied, though, but it all took til nearly 9:00.
Really, really tired and cold, I talked J, and even E for a bit, into snuggling up with me and watching a perfectly frivolous Australian teen series called H20, Just Add Water about girls that turn into mermaids if they get wet. She'll watch it because they always become mermaids at least once in the show and while Dora doesn't bug me to have on, I don't like to watch it.
IDEALLY: Yay, I'm not the a.m. TV kinda girl. So I was really tired. And crazy cold for some reason. The idea is that we are through our "To Do" book, pictures of all the things J is supposed to do in the morning, before 8:30...
Still really, really tired and cold. So I turn on Laurie Berkner for the kids. And send myself to my room for scripture study. I text Eric about how cold and tired I am and I kind of resign myself to a long day. I snuggled up in bed and read my scriptures for a bit, till just after 10:00. Behind much?
Then, somehow, I found some energy. We got going and did everything on our list, which includes J making her bed (with help), getting dressed (with help), brushing teeth, washing face, sweeping up breakfast mess, reading scriptures (which was quite sweet this particular day), a handful of other things, and wiggling: We turn on the Wiggles and we all dance. J is getting pretty good at a couple of the moves. This took us to 11:30!! Behind much?
Then we got out the play dough, something E had never touched before, and they played and I did something I hate to do- financial type calls. They give me anxiety and an upset stomach. But the kids where playing nicely and it had to be done so I just sucked it up and did it. And it wasn't too bad, actually. Great to not have to worry about it!
Then we did lunch, clean up lunch, and bedtime for E, quiet time for J and I worked on some stuff for Harmony Kids. My mom has had this singing group for 25 years now and I'm helping (again). This year we are putting on a Christmas musical and so I was getting some audition materials ready to go. It was enjoyable and a productive use of my quiet time.
IDEALLY: I'm still not sure what is supposed to be the best use of my quiet time. I've thought about using it for exercise or creative writing or painting or working or something I can't really do with the kids awake...I just know I'm not supposed to let it flit away, I'm supposed to utilize it today, which I did.
This brought us to 2:30 and J was up and eager for singing time to start. I finished some things I'd been making for the studio and got them up on the wall and then E woke up and singing started. Today I was down there off and on for the 3 hours of lessons. So it was mostly a circuit of teaching drama basics, herding toddlers, and cooking dinner (Mondays are always a big dinner night for me, don't know why).
Which brought us to 6:00. I was feeling pretty awesome for the things I'd taught the kids and how good they are and for the glimpse of how fun the next few months of putting this thing together is going to be. And because dinner was really tasty. And because Eric was home. And because everyone liked dinner. J and E were especially challenging during the meal and required quite a bit of focused, calm attention, but it was no problem. Dessert was baking pleasantly in the oven and I was putting out the kid's fires left and right with style. Then the kids went out to jump on the tramp and I got an FHE lesson together and we did that (not the best FHE, but we did it!) Then it was PJs and stories and bedtime and then Eric went to bed too and I've had the last hour and a half to write emails and blog and check FB for a few minutes.
I DIDN'T exercise (yet?) - we didn't go on a walk and I didn't do any stretching or strength training. I was NOT well rested, but I did eat and drink VERY well today.
I DIDN'T do anything crafty, but I was a bit creative in the singing stuff I prepared and taught. The only learning I did was in my scripture study. And I DID have a long enough break from childrens' voices.
So, what are the things that made today great? (not in order of importance. Except #1)
1. Reading my scriptures. Hand's down, that one is a game changer. I've noticed for me, though, it has to be done before 3:00 or it doesn't do as much. Morning is best.
2. Not expecting too much. I woke up so tired and couldn't shake it for so long, I think my low expectations for the day had a little to do with it's success....hmmmm...not sure how I feel about that one.
3. Teaching and doing with my kids what I know I'm supposed to do, like reading scriptures, and teaching Jane good hygiene and cleaning habits, and cuddling and loving and playing with them.
4. Doing something that I'm particularly good at that benefits others- getting the audition materials ready and teaching the kids some drama basics was a nice little kick in my day, reminding me of past-awesome-i-tude and talent in areas I don't utilize much these days. Also, it wasn't stressful AT ALL preparing for it! I was a little stressed prepping for preschool the other day, lots of rushing around. There was NONE with this.
5. Cooking. Cooking something tasty. Cooking something everyone likes. Cooking something healthy. And planning it was a cinch, no wasted minutes of scratching my head figuring what the crap to make. All those add up to Joy. I really do love to cook on all those levels.
6. Chatting with my mom about several things throughout the day. Even though we live here, she's gone A LOT. It's amazing how much we don't talk, actually. But we had several nice, short conversations about things here and there.
7. Calling about the financial stuff. It really was a weight that was lifted for me, AND there is always that little kick back of pride in doing something that is normally hard for me.
8. Blogging/Emailing. Yep, kinda love it. It's not that I forget how much happier it makes me, it's that I guilt myself out of it thinking there is something else I should be working on.
So, how do I replicate this day? I think my scripture study was HUGE this morning. I didn't just read, but I got really thoughtful about certain aspects of my parenting and my role as a mom right now in our situation. There are a lot of reasons to worry these days. And there are a lot of things I have no control over. But I have total control over my parenting and those kids are my top priority, no matter what else is going on in our lives. If we had a dream (or a tolerable) job already and our own place and whatever else, I would still be focusing on exactly what I'm focusing on. That was pretty comforting, sustaining thought today and I chewed on it all day. I think I need to chew on something everyday.
All right, so I'm sorta spent all of a sudden and I kind of want to go on and pontificate some more and push for some more answers but the tired wave just hit me, and I know from experience if I don't go to bed now, I'll be up past 11:00. And that, plus molars coming in for E, could make for ugly tomorrow.
Making It Snappy with Great Grandpa
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We are currently a four generation household as my 93 year old grandpa is living with us. It's been pretty great, actually. He's incredibly sweet and very patient with my girls...and their noise. The girls think he's pretty great, too. He particularly loves Jane, calls her an angel child. I snapped these after a soccer game of the cousins (Jane's wearing her soccer shirt we made her for Christmas last year, Grandpa is wearing his overalls, he was hoping to work on the tractor later, which he did). They were cuddling there for quite a while and of course, as soon as I get out the camera, Jane starts wiggling away.
SCHOOL!!!
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Jane is part of a group of four three year old girls who meet once a week for an hour and a half for an in-home preschool. Boy, was this a TON of excitement for Jane.
Can you tell? Here she is with her backpack in a dress from Grandma.
I taught the first week and really enjoyed it. I loved seeing the other girls' personalities and strengths. Craft time was by far the best! It's a shame how few crafting opportunities I've given Jane, given my propensity to create and her enjoyment of it. Speaking of creating, here is this pretty sweet tent/canopy I finally finished for Jane. I'm pretty proud of it, it's the first thing I've made where I haven't thought "not bad, but-" The best thing about it is that we put it on a swivel hook on the ceiling and we can turn it around and drape it over the foot of her bed and it makes her whole bed a little hideaway. Both girls love it!
Can you tell? Here she is with her backpack in a dress from Grandma.I taught the first week and really enjoyed it. I loved seeing the other girls' personalities and strengths. Craft time was by far the best! It's a shame how few crafting opportunities I've given Jane, given my propensity to create and her enjoyment of it. Speaking of creating, here is this pretty sweet tent/canopy I finally finished for Jane. I'm pretty proud of it, it's the first thing I've made where I haven't thought "not bad, but-" The best thing about it is that we put it on a swivel hook on the ceiling and we can turn it around and drape it over the foot of her bed and it makes her whole bed a little hideaway. Both girls love it!
Jane's Second Haircut
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My youngest sister is in hair school and we've already started to put her to use. Here she is giving Jane a trim, very successfully, I might add!
Making It Snappy
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This is my beloved Aunt Mary. She is one of the dearest, sweetest people I know and growing up, I loved her like the most perfect stuffed animal in my crib, like the kindest good fairy in my imagination, the tastiest treat at the store. Jane and Emiline love her, too. They played dress up together like the princesses they are.
Cousins Confusion
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For Jane, "cousin" is synonymous with any kid she particularly likes, is fun, or is nice to her. We're working on the confusion, but having a pretty great family is an awesome thing!
At the Fort Worth Water Gardens
Learning to share before learning to walk! You go Abby!
Still, every night, Jane thanks Heavenly Father for Becca, for making her so happy. It wasn't just the nail polish, but Becca did introduce it to my girl, and she's hooked!
Several years different in age, but thanks to very similar "Ludlow" personalities, Jason and Jane hit it off at Grammy's house. It was amazing to me how well they played together.
Also quite a bit older, Luke takes such good care of Jane, even when he forgets she's little and plays a bit too rough, his apologies are the best!
Can you tell these two are smitten with each other? I hope it lasts forever! I hope they are good pals at college and beyond!
And it's pretty incredible what good friends my girls already are!
At the Fort Worth Water Gardens
Learning to share before learning to walk! You go Abby!
Still, every night, Jane thanks Heavenly Father for Becca, for making her so happy. It wasn't just the nail polish, but Becca did introduce it to my girl, and she's hooked!
Several years different in age, but thanks to very similar "Ludlow" personalities, Jason and Jane hit it off at Grammy's house. It was amazing to me how well they played together.
Also quite a bit older, Luke takes such good care of Jane, even when he forgets she's little and plays a bit too rough, his apologies are the best!
Can you tell these two are smitten with each other? I hope it lasts forever! I hope they are good pals at college and beyond!And it's pretty incredible what good friends my girls already are!
Making it Snappy
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This is what happens with a willing Grandpa and three very creative and amazing granddaughters. Oh, and face paint.
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