Second Child

My sister asked me today if I ever felt bad about the difference in energy or excitement I feel with this pregnancy over my first one. I didn't have an answer for her but I've been thinking about it in the back of my head all day. Here's my answer (and remember I'm a middle child):

With my first pregnancy, I was so ignorant and so naive, and yes crazy excited. But I was also more focused on me--I was pregnant, I was feeling like _________, etc. And I was doing so much research to prepare for pregnancy, labor, and birth. I didn't have any idea what it was like to love a daughter. With this pregnancy, I've been amazed by how much and how quickly I've already started to bond. I've done the pregnancy thing, it's old hat now, and it seems like I'm more focused on this child than my own stuff. I have a context and a knowledge I didn't have before. And my heart is now "used" and instead of fresh off the parent lot. It's been a huge comfort when I start to freak out about how in the world I'm going to parent two of them. This baby will mean more work and worry, but also so much more joy, you know, once she's sleeping through the night ;-)

It's also been really fun to share it all with Jane, in what limited way I can. Yesterday we made up a Big Sister song she can sing to the baby (we've been reading a I'm A Big Sister book for a while now). Really simple and to the tune of Frere Jacques:
Baby Sister, Baby Sister
I Love You! I Love You!
I'm your Big Sister. I'm your Big Sister
I'll take care of you. I'll take care of you.
and we sang it and I helped her rub my belly and she got such a sweet serious look on her face and kept asking to sing it again ("gen?"), and tried to sing the "I Love You" ("ah lulb oo") part and even asked to sing it today before her nap. I think something connected a bit for her and it was really neat to watch. Families rock!