The last few weeks have had their stresses. Er, I mean, the last month. Or two.
But MAN have I had some sweet, sweet moments with my kiddos lately.
Jane has turned into a cuddler! It's crazy. She loves to snuggle and lay down by me and kiss and hug. A lot. Maybe it's just cuz she misses her Daddy so I get all his hugs, too?
The other day I was sitting on the stairs painting the walls for my mom and Jane laid down on her belly on the landing so her head was level to mine. She put her arms around my neck and gave me a bunch of kisses on my cheek. Her kisses, by the way, are her pressing her wide, tight lips (almost like a smile) against whatever she is kissing and then making a squeaky, sucking noise. No puckering. Then she said in a confident command:
"OK Mommy. You kiss me lots. I will laugh."
And so I did. And so did she. Cracked me up.
Emiline will give kisses, too. When she really wants to kiss, she'll put her lips, sometimes open, sometimes closed, in the general area of my mouth. Then she'll smile and giggle. If she is just obliging me or someone else and she's not really in the mood, she'll just lean in her forehead to your lips. Well, it's more of a head butt to the lips. And if she flat out doesn't want to, she'll push you away. She's a bit spicy, that one!
I love it when my kids sing. Jane has been playing around more and more with lyrics to songs. She has been combining lots of primary songs like:
I am a child of God
and he has sent me here
and thankful bless me go to sleep
quickly I obey...
Her pitch is pretty good, too.
The other day she was singing I am a child of God but made more minute changes:
We are a child of God
and he has sent me-
We are a child of God
and he has sent us here
has given me-
has given us an earthly home....
I don't know why, but that really tickled me.
Then, every time Emiline starts crying or fussing, Jane breaks out in Mary Had a Little Lamb. Maybe because her Lamby is comforting to her? I don't know, but it's pretty funny and 92% of the time, it works.
This afternoon at naptime, I told Emiline to sing to me and she started right up singing wide vowels that really sort of sounded like I am a child of God...
Emiline is growing so fast! She's nearly a true toddler now. She sways a lot, still falls down here and there, but has such good control of stopping and going and turning around. She's choosing to walk more and more, even though she's crazy fast crawling. She sometimes combines the two and will get her knees of the floor a few times as she racing from one spot to the next. I know how quickly she won't be a baby anymore! Strangely, it doesn't make me sad. I've really enjoyed her babyhood and I'm just so excited to see her grow up. Worried about her spiciness and what that will look like as two year old and a teenager, most definitely! But more excited!
Jane was pretending to be Rapunzel today and decided I was Flynn and whacked (very gently, mind you) me on the head. She was testing to see if that was OK. I gave her a look and said my face didn't like that. She corrected me, of course. "Mom, you don't like your pointy head to get hit!" She still calls foreheads "pointy head"s. And I had this moment where I realized that at some point, probably very soon, she will stop calling it my pointy head. And I will miss that. And I took a little mental snapshot and let my heart hold it. And I wanted to write it down here. I love it when I'm in a place to savor moments.
As exhausting and exasperating as they can be, my kids bring me such immeasurable joy. I know I had a life before, and I liked it. But in some ways, becoming a parent has been like being born into a whole new kind of life. It's like joy (and tiredness) are different here, have different levels and meanings.
More Reasons to Be MIA
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I'll say "reasons" because that sound better than "excuses."
My little bro is getting married in less than two weeks and the main reason I moved so far ahead of Eric was to help my mom with all the wedding prep. So we've been BUSY! Yesterday my little sis and I painted the whole dining, kitchen, stairs, and entry area (which was 2 1/2 gallons of paint!). And it looks awesome! And it was supposed to be a surprise, but apparently my mother knows us too well and knows we like to take on impossible jobs and surprise her with a completed project. Anyway, now the girls are sick and I'm not feeling so hot myself, so it was good that we knocked out a big project...
But I wanted to share the wedding invite I made for my little bro and his darling fiance.
Probably cuz I could do with some positive comments at the moment (I hate feeling pukey, even more when my girls ARE pukey). So I tried to block out the sensitive info with the blur function but got bored so I did a more ugly approach ;-) Now that most of these have gone out, it's OK to post it, I guess. Green Apple did their photography, I used Photoshop Elements on my good old Mac, the font is mostly Savoy and we printed them nice and large at Costco (6x7 1/2).
My little bro is getting married in less than two weeks and the main reason I moved so far ahead of Eric was to help my mom with all the wedding prep. So we've been BUSY! Yesterday my little sis and I painted the whole dining, kitchen, stairs, and entry area (which was 2 1/2 gallons of paint!). And it looks awesome! And it was supposed to be a surprise, but apparently my mother knows us too well and knows we like to take on impossible jobs and surprise her with a completed project. Anyway, now the girls are sick and I'm not feeling so hot myself, so it was good that we knocked out a big project...
But I wanted to share the wedding invite I made for my little bro and his darling fiance.
Probably cuz I could do with some positive comments at the moment (I hate feeling pukey, even more when my girls ARE pukey). So I tried to block out the sensitive info with the blur function but got bored so I did a more ugly approach ;-) Now that most of these have gone out, it's OK to post it, I guess. Green Apple did their photography, I used Photoshop Elements on my good old Mac, the font is mostly Savoy and we printed them nice and large at Costco (6x7 1/2).
The Move
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Someday Jane might want to kill me for posting this picture. But I have to (and she should pardon me for not posting some of the other angles I also took). I'm sorry Future Jane, but people must know for their posterity that when attempting a cross country move with young, potty-trained children, a $4 IKEA potty is an invaluable traveling necessity. Also, I didn't take ANY other pictures. I had every intention of doing so. I left the camera out the whole time the guys where loading the truck and a few of my friends (OK, so most of them where younger than 14, they are still my friends) where helping me inside. I was really going to take pictures. And then I even wanted to get one of us all outside in front of the U-Haul, our last family picture in Minnesota. But then we were 2 hours behind schedule and there was a bitter wind and I was impatient. And the good intentions kept dying in their goodness until we were on the scenic (meaning narrow and windy) highway between Bozeman and West Yellowstone. Jane had to go potty now! We pulled over and it was just such a scenic moment, I had to grab the camera.
Like I was saying, the potty was invaluable in crossing the midwest and less populous states. We used it four times in two days! Yay for no accidents in the car!
So the nitty gritty: The lovely gents from our church starting coming over to help at about 6:30 Wednesday night. Things were going full blown by 7:30 and pretty much by 9:00 it was all over. The U-Haul was packed tight! My sister flew in at 11:00 and we went home and tried to finish getting ready. My sister was PHENOMENAL the whole time. She just quietly rolled up her sleeves and jumped right in to helping out with cleaning, packing the food, whatever it was that needed to be done. It was like there was two of me. On the drive she was wonderful. She's already got a mother-mentality: she just did what needed to be done and didn't complain and was positive but communicated, too. To think I was considering driving by myself....ha!
The original plan was to get up early to miss traffic so I could get used to driving the trailer (yep, I was totally terrified of that one!) When we didn't get to bed until 2, we decided to just wake up when we woke up and call it good. So Thursday morning, we were on the road just after 8:00 am, which is pretty darn good all things considered.
Thursday turned out to be a 17 HOUR DAY! When planning our trip, and agonizing over where and how to buy a hotel (went with Billings and Priceline, turned out just fine) I neglected to figure in the fact that we couldn't drive 75 mph in the trailer, most of the time no more than 60. Had I not already bought the hotel room, I would have been tempted to stop much earlier. But we wanted to have a shorter second day (the last 4 hours of a long trip are always the most painful) and I'm glad we pushed through. Even during the snow storm in western North Dakota. Even when looking for a gas station in Medora (or an open one, anyway. Thank you ornery, but good-hearted clerk!)
The girls had done REALLY well most of the day. There were a few moments for each of them, but for the most part, there were no major freak outs. That is until we were about 20-30 minutes outside of Billings.
Emiline had woken up (did I mention they both went to sleep in their carseats exactly at bedtime??) and was disoriented. She cried herself into a fit and by the time we pulled into the parking lot of our Super 8 at 2:00 am, she had completely melted and fully freaked out. It took a while for her to calm down. And then she wanted me, and only me, right there every minute. When I did get her calm enough to sleep, I was able to put her in the hotel's crib. But she wanted to play (because she's used to being in a room by herself to fall asleep. If she sees me, she thinks its playtime). After wrestling with her for an hour and a half (GOSH that was a long hour and a half!), I had the brilliant (I think it was inspired) idea to put her down in the bathtub. I put lots of cushioning and laid her down, she sighed, rolled over on her side and went right to sleep! I had a moment standing outside the bathroom worrying she might hurt herself somehow or something. And then this weird mixture of exhaustion and peace set in and it was like "what else can you do? Nothing. So say a prayer and go to bed." And I did.
Day Two we were on the road in good time as well. I was up at 6:30 for some bizarre reason (over three days I had three and a half hours of sleep each night...still catching up!) After stopping to get gas, we were on the road again before 9. The drive to Bozeman was difficult because of the fierce wind. The stop to get gas in Bozeman was also eventful. Let's just say those posts next to gas pumps serve a valuable purpose for protecting the gas pump, not so much for the vehicles or trailers, etc they could come into contact with.
We made it to Ashton, Idaho for a late lunch and let the kids crawl around and play at the little dinner we ate at (they had kid toys! So perfect!). And before we knew it, we were at my parents, before 8 pm even! Yes, Jane had a small meltdown in the carseat about 20 minutes from my parent's house (I want to hold you, Mommy! Hold you!) But we did it! Lo Hicemos!
Overall, though, my kids did great! I was actually surprised by how well they did. My sister was amazing! And my back survived! And now we are here, still not quite moved in, and the kids are still adjusting (accidents, whining, hyperness), but it's going to be great! Because what else would we make it, right?
Thoughts on Moving
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Since the main priority around here for the last few months has been either preparing to move or moving, I thought I'd ruminate on the subject for a bit whilst I'm waiting for a phone call (and avoiding the crowd of boxes spilling into every living space and surface of our lives).
I spent the first month mostly just culling our stuff. Man did we accumulate a lot of stuff in a few years! Even though 98% of it was all second-hand of some variety, it was surprisingly difficult to let go of things that weren't "worth" moving. Living on a tight budget and in a small space the last few years meant that everything that came into our house (for the most part), was a very deliberate and something near agonized choice as well as a long, mostly-patient, scavenging process. But, as we're trying to fit everything into a 6x12 trailer, MUCH had to go.
It was very interesting how easy it was to let go home decor items. And surprising. This is the girl that started reading Better Homes and Gardens at age 9. And started clippings for an inspiration board for my dream home at age 10. I think part of the ease of letting go in this area had to do with the fact that we don't know when we will be in our own home again, so why hang on to my seasonal items? My snowflake candelabra, my fake acorns, and gord shaped candle lanterns?
I think the other reason was that I realized how much I like cleaner lines. I took down everything but the things I couldn't bear to have down for a month+ (mostly family pictures and a few other things) and MAN it looked good! Not saying I'm becoming a modernist or anything, but I do think it's SO easy, especially when on a tight budget, to fill our lives with teeny, inexpensive pops of cuteness that don't mean anything except a reflection of our desire to nurture by beautifying our environment.
It's kind of like the way I used to buy clothes. The rule in our house was that once we hit Jr. High, we bought all our own school clothes. Thus the bargain shopper was born. I was so easily suckered into buying a shirt off the clearance rack that wasn't quite right because it was only a couple of bucks. It would go home and rarely leave my closet, hanging next to the other dozen "steals." My sister, however, will pay full price for a shirt she loves and wear it every week (or twice!) until it wears out. I'd like to marry the two- hold out for the steal that I love!
I think this rule will apply to finding a job, and when we finally buy a house (you know, in like 10 years or so). There's a scripture that I love, that has been so influential in my life. 2 Nephi 9:51 Wherefore, do not spend money for that which is of no worth, nor your alabor for that which cannot bsatisfy. Hearken diligently unto me, and remember the words which I have spoken; and come unto the Holy One of Israel, and cfeast upon that which perisheth not, neither can be corrupted, and let your soul delight in fatness.
Let's hear it for the fatness!!
As I look at all the things I have spent both time and effort to find and money to buy and more time to arrange and modify and organize over the last 2 1/2 years trying to build a home, I have to say I did a pretty darn good job. Sure, there were things I could have done without (mostly because now we are moving and not taking most of it with us). But I'm satisfied with the home I built. I am less satisfied with the number of projects I conceived, planned, bought materials for, and didn't finish (there are waaaaaaaay too many materials in my craft closet...any body want a box of wood?) and sometimes not even start. But I did good making our space work for us. And I can do it again. And THAT should be an exciting thing! I get to do it again!
I'm NOT thinking about the fact that I'll be moving again way too soon.
I spent the first month mostly just culling our stuff. Man did we accumulate a lot of stuff in a few years! Even though 98% of it was all second-hand of some variety, it was surprisingly difficult to let go of things that weren't "worth" moving. Living on a tight budget and in a small space the last few years meant that everything that came into our house (for the most part), was a very deliberate and something near agonized choice as well as a long, mostly-patient, scavenging process. But, as we're trying to fit everything into a 6x12 trailer, MUCH had to go.
It was very interesting how easy it was to let go home decor items. And surprising. This is the girl that started reading Better Homes and Gardens at age 9. And started clippings for an inspiration board for my dream home at age 10. I think part of the ease of letting go in this area had to do with the fact that we don't know when we will be in our own home again, so why hang on to my seasonal items? My snowflake candelabra, my fake acorns, and gord shaped candle lanterns?
I think the other reason was that I realized how much I like cleaner lines. I took down everything but the things I couldn't bear to have down for a month+ (mostly family pictures and a few other things) and MAN it looked good! Not saying I'm becoming a modernist or anything, but I do think it's SO easy, especially when on a tight budget, to fill our lives with teeny, inexpensive pops of cuteness that don't mean anything except a reflection of our desire to nurture by beautifying our environment.
It's kind of like the way I used to buy clothes. The rule in our house was that once we hit Jr. High, we bought all our own school clothes. Thus the bargain shopper was born. I was so easily suckered into buying a shirt off the clearance rack that wasn't quite right because it was only a couple of bucks. It would go home and rarely leave my closet, hanging next to the other dozen "steals." My sister, however, will pay full price for a shirt she loves and wear it every week (or twice!) until it wears out. I'd like to marry the two- hold out for the steal that I love!
I think this rule will apply to finding a job, and when we finally buy a house (you know, in like 10 years or so). There's a scripture that I love, that has been so influential in my life. 2 Nephi 9:51 Wherefore, do not spend money for that which is of no worth, nor your alabor for that which cannot bsatisfy. Hearken diligently unto me, and remember the words which I have spoken; and come unto the Holy One of Israel, and cfeast upon that which perisheth not, neither can be corrupted, and let your soul delight in fatness.
Let's hear it for the fatness!!
As I look at all the things I have spent both time and effort to find and money to buy and more time to arrange and modify and organize over the last 2 1/2 years trying to build a home, I have to say I did a pretty darn good job. Sure, there were things I could have done without (mostly because now we are moving and not taking most of it with us). But I'm satisfied with the home I built. I am less satisfied with the number of projects I conceived, planned, bought materials for, and didn't finish (there are waaaaaaaay too many materials in my craft closet...any body want a box of wood?) and sometimes not even start. But I did good making our space work for us. And I can do it again. And THAT should be an exciting thing! I get to do it again!
I'm NOT thinking about the fact that I'll be moving again way too soon.
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