Mal and Millie

We are having a fantastic and exhausting (we're doing a big Christmas project, I'll post pics when it's done) time here in Idaho. The girls are LOVING it and Jane has really turned a corner. In June, she ran from Grandpa and cried. Now she's told him she loves him a few times and he's even gotten a few kisses. It's been nice for them all to have the opportunity to get to know my kids and for my kids to have the space to learn to love them.

Here's the classic "let's put the baby cousins on the couch and take a picture" picture. I have one of me and my cousin Scott who was a month younger than me. Although you can't tell from this pic, they were totally checking each other out and smiling and "talking." Mal is amazing, her spirit is so strong and she just speaks volumes through her eyes and it's crazy how keenly she recognizes people. I have really loved getting to know her the last few days.

Family is good.

Also, I read "I'll Love You Forever" today to Jane, even though it was missing a few pages. It was actually a book I bought from a book order (remember those?) when I was in second grade or something. I heard some adults talking about how it made them cry. I remember getting it, reading it, and thinking "big deal." In fact, even at 8 I was critical of the syntax and styling of the refrain:

I'll love you forever

I'll like you for always

as long as I'm living

my baby you'll be.

This time? Totally bawled. But I was still incredulous that the old mom climbs the ladder to her boy's house when he's all grown up. Ask me when my kids grow up if I'll climb a ladder to look at them sleeping at night. Maybe I'll totally bawl then, too.

Spiders

For some reason, Jane has been into spiders lately. I don't know why or who she got it from, we've been with a lot of family for the last week. Yesterday she wanted to draw them during church. This morning, the first thing she said (besides "I have to go potty") was:

"Mommy! Baby Jesus born on Christmas! Then he draw spiders. Baby Jesus likes to draw spiders!"

No idea.

Christmas Dresses 2010

To say that I like to craft, create, sew is a bit of an understatement. Having kids and a house (an apartment counts!) of my own has added more fun to it. Throw on top the sweet memories I have of my own mother laboring over things, mostly dresses, and you have a rather keen desire of my own to make Christmas dresses.

My mom is quite gifted at sewing clothing and following and adapting patterns. For whatever reason, sewing from a pattern sort of freaks me out and sewing clothing is intimidating. Good thing I had my mom right there as I made these beauties for my darlings. The other thing I wanted to do was not spend any money. Thanks to my mother's large (again, a huge understatement) fabric stash, I didn't spend a cent!

With the guidance of my mom, we picked a pattern that wasn't too difficult and fabric she knew would work well and be easy to work with (the blue/purple plaid taffeta is at least 10 years old, my youngest sister had a dress out of it when she was a kiddo). I didn't follow a pattern for the shrugs and I made the rosettes, headbands, and hairbows. There's no way I could have done it on such a short time frame without my mom to help, both with the sewing and with babysitting. She knew how important it was to me and I ended up having 6 hours total in one day where I had no kids to care for where I wasn't also sleeping. That's a first since I became a mommy! It was a delightful day!

Christmas Letter 2010

Again, I wish I could have sent this out to SO many more people than we actually could afford to. Honestly, I probably shouldn't have sent any out. But I had bought the paper and cards on clearance last year and I had a coupon for the photos. But still. Anyway, the point is, there were so many people we didn't get to send a hard copy to, and as much as I love this digital age, I can't be convinced to go digital with Christmas Cards. It's just not the same. So, here is our just-not-the-same-digital-Christmas Card this year.

Boy do I love Photoshop Elements! Best Mother's Day Present EVER. I also heart free digital scrapbooking kits.


Here's the Letter:

As 2010 draws to a close, we find ourselves once again looking forward with faith into the unknown and back in weary relief! We’re almost done! We still don’t know from where we will be writing next year’s letter but we are grateful for what this place and this year has taught us and brought us.

ERIC has had quite the range of experiences at Minnesota. Besides classes, Eric has done volunteering for Legal Aid, teaching in an inner-city classroom via Street Law, clerking for a small family law firm downtown, and advocating for low-income clients at the Tax clinic. His life has been full of the law. He’s loved it, but he’s ready for it to be full of other things, too. So are his girls who love every minute with him.

MARCEE’s body had a rough year. A possible herniated disc loomed over her pregnancy but she made it through the nine months and delivery with her sanity and discs intact. An MRI this fall showed three bulging discs but no nerve impingement. After lots of gym time and physical therapy, she’s seen less pain and more mobility and is excited at the prospect of being nearly normal soon (knock on wood)! She’s also started swimming for exercise and is on track to swim a mile before 2011 starts.

JANE has been busy this year—she mastered walking and moved on to “fast-ing” (running), dancing, and jumping with both feet off the ground. She grew enough hair to actually have it cut, sleeps in a big-girl bed, is potty-trained, and speaks in complete paragraphs. We laugh daily at what comes out of her mouth. She loves music, the snow, drawing, stories, tools, blocks and legos, pretend, cooking, and her baby sister. It has been an unanticipated joy watching them interact and the love they already have for each other.

EMILINE RHYS joined our family on May 28, a week after her due date. From the beginning, she’s been eager to look at the world around her. At 6+ months she measures 75^th percentile across the board, weighing just over 17 lbs. She is sitting up, sleeping through the night, falling asleep on her own, and just started solids. She loves Peek-A-Boo and Patty Cake, kicking, screeching, anything she can get in her mouth, and watching Jane. She’s such a happy, social baby and so beautiful to us with no teeth, almost no hair, and the best grin. We can’t wait to discover more about her as she learns and grows.

We have missed so many of you these last few years and hope that we’ll see more of you soon. In the meantime, since it’s been so long, get to know us again with these get to know you questions:

Favorite color
ERIC: Blue
MARCEE: Purple
JANE: Orange
EMILINE: Milky

What was the last thing you read?
ERIC: Advocating for Low-Income Tax Payers: A Clinical Studies Casebook
MARCEE: Just Two More Bites: Helping Picky Eaters Say Yes to Food
JANE: Dr. Seuss’s ABC Book
EMILINE: Where’s Spot?

Do you have a nickname?
ERIC: Daddy. Honey. And if Jane gets no response she resorts to “Er-ic!”
MARCEE: Mommy.
JANE: Jane-girl.
EMILINE: Mommy is pushing for Millie but it hasn’t stuck yet.

How do you spend your free time?
ERIC: “Putting my girls to bed.”
MARCEE: “Either writing, sewing, or painting. Or sleeping.”
JANE: Drawing—at the moment lots of balloons, letters, rainbows, and houses.
EMILINE: Emptying a container one item at a time then fussing when it is empty.

What are you best at?
ERIC: Marcee says “thoroughness, caring, silly nerdiness, and relaxing.”
MARCEE: Eric says “being creative in ideas for lessons, presents, and ways to help family.”
JANE: Jane says “twirling in my house! Round and round and round and round!”
EMILINE: Jane says “playing with the circle blocks.”

Sleep Rules

I read about Sleep Rules in "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" a while ago now. I can't remember if it was pre or post baby...strange that's how I've been marking time, all though now I honestly can't remember. Anywho, it's been on the list to post about the amazingtudeness of Sleep Rules for awhile now, because it works fantastically for us.

Pre Sleep Rules:
We'd do the routine: stories, song, bed. Jane would sit in her crib and talk and sing for at least an hour, usually more. Didn't matter what time I put her to bed, she'd still talk and sing for at least an hour. I did have the clarity of mind to enforce her laying down and we did put our foot down when she started kicking the wall. But my previous attempts to "help" her sleep had ended up in power struggles, so for a while, I gave up. I, of course, couldn't completely take a break until she was good and asleep. (strange how that is, eh?) When she did sleep, she never stayed asleep for much longer than an hour...

Post Sleep Rules:
We do the routine: stories, song, go over the rules, bed. Now Jane lays in her bed and, well, sometimes she does whisper to herself mostly she is quiet, for no more than a half hour before she goes to sleep. If she talks, sings, kicks the wall, etc, we take away Lammy. In the beginning, there was a treat/bribe involved if she took a nap. That was a good learning incentive but we don't do it anymore. She regularly sleeps 2+ plus hours for her nap and wakes up so much happier than before.

Nap Rules:
1. Be quiet (we clarify with "no talking, no singing, no whispering...")
2. Lay Down
3. Close your eyes
4. Go to sleep
5. Makes Jane a Happy Girl

She likes counting this off with her fingers, and there is usually a five-fingered tickle when we get to Happy Girl.

That's all. Nap Rules ROCK! She keeps getting better at falling asleep. And yes, it took a lot of taking away Lammy in the beginning. But we are doing fabulously these days. Knock on Wood

Sleep Training

About a week ago I was feeling all smug about sleep training Emiline in about 36 hours. We moved her into her sisters room at about 4 months ??? (I'd have to check) but because we were so worried about them waking each other up, anytime one of them started to fuss, I'd run in there. That got old quick and Emiline didn't have the greatest self-soothing skills. So I decided to help her learn. We had Jane sleep on the loveseat in our room for a few nights and I was strict with Emiline and just let her figure it out. It worked really fast. But someone didn't knock on wood/got punished for her smugness.

Four days later we had the 6 month appointment and shots. She wanted to be held more and definitely didn't want to sleep in her bed. So I caved, I gave her the binky a time or two and then Wednesday, after she woke up screaming and inconsolable, I let her sleep in my bed with me. She thrashed every 45 minutes as she came out of a REM cycle and then would reach up for my face then settle back down. It was actually pretty sweet, but also very tiring.

So it took 36 hours to untrain her, too. Now she's much worse than before. And she's just so mad whenever we put her in the crib, it's not a heartbroken cry but an indignant one! Last night this meant she slept in the kitchen in the port a crib next to the running dishwasher so she wouldn't wake up her sister (which is ironic because tonight I let her wail in her crib for 10 minutes for going to get her and Jane was snoring when I went in... she sleeps through it!) She cried for an hour, exhausted but fighting so hard.

I hate sleep training. Hate, hate, hate it. It's been extra frustrating because Eric is finals and he definitely doesn't handle her crying well so I'll go get her for his sake.

Anywho. I'm tired. And I think it's funny that Jane is incapable of sleeping in my bed and Emiline seems irate that she doesn't get to every night.

Blah, blah, blah, go to bed.

holes in my brain

Today at physical therapy I got talking to another patient who is a much older mother, her children are my age. I was mentioning how my to do list is crushing me and I'm way behind in getting ready for our trip because my brain has holes in it. Her suggestion was to make a list and that would ease my mind. I didn't tell her how often I have tried to make a list these last few weeks. Here's how it usually goes:

She's making a list....where'd that pen go? *baby sucking on it* Oh, there it is.
"Mommy, I NEED you! I have to go POTTY!" Off to the potty...OK, now where was I?

She's making a list....*baby starts crying, pick up baby*
"Mommy, I want to color"
"Not right now, it's mommy's turn"
"No, I WANT to. My paper."
*baby starts eating paper*
"Jane, please talk nice. Say, 'OK Mommy, it's Mommy's turn now.'"
"OK Mommy...It's Jane's turn now."
"Let's watch Wiggles?"

She's making a list....*phone rings*
She's making a list....*baby has a blow out*
She's making a list...."I need a snack!"
She's making a list....etc, etc, etc. REPEAT.


Not sure if I'll get to making a list this year, let alone checking it twice. I think it is significant that Santa isn't a mother.

Christmas Letters

I've been working on our Christmas Letter on and off for about a week. The first few times I took a crack at it got me all down and depressed. Sometimes I don't know where that line of being Positive (and grateful) and Sincere (and grateful) but Honest (and not ungrateful). See, we've had a lot of tough stuff this last year. And a LOT of blessings, sure. But in this economy, at this time of the school year, with a T.W.O year old (Totally Willful and Obstinate), I had to admit I was having a hard time getting the tone right. The best I could get was Weary. So I came up with some different approaches to the letter:

Come up with a list of questions (get to know you, or favorite things, or even Christmas themed) and have each family answer them.

Forget the narrative letter and go with bullet points. It's so much more factual and less emotional (a good thing if you are trying to avoid emotions).

And instead of doing a year in review, do Facebook Status Review. How about a Christmas letter entirely in FB updates??? This one didn't work for me as I'm not an FB regular, but I'd like to read a letter like this.

In fact, I LOVE Christmas letters, and not just because it means fun mail instead of ads and junk. I love the art of reflecting on our lives and the act of reaching out to friends old and new, far and near. We got our first in the mail today and I can't wait for more!

Today I sat down and found my tone and now it just needs to be proofed by the detail man husband guy. And there is the picture, and the printing, and the stuffing, and the addressing, and posting... it's amazing I ever get any out. Mailing things is NOT my strong suit.

Make-oo

"Make-oo" is Jane's word for make-up.
This morning was the usual bustle to get ready for church. Our bishop had asked everyone to make an effort to be to church five minutes early. We were on target for this at 8:40 this morning. The girls were ready, diaper bag was packed. Eric and I where just finishing up ourselves. I was taking a little longer than usual to straighten some bits on my hair. Usually we put a movie on so that Jane stays neat for longer. That was the intention today as well. You can see what good intentions lead to:


This picture demonstrates how much Jane loves the stuff and is also a testament to her powers of observation, considering I don't wear the stuff more than once a week, unless my mother is in town. As you can see, she did try to put the mascara on her eye-lashes. You can see how she missed in this pictures (it's even in her hair), but as I was cleaning it off, it was also on her eye lashes! You can't really tell from this picture how she managed to get get half a tub of Bare Minerals eye shadows on her eyelids, shirt, skirt, tights, shoes, the rug, the couch, and in my make-up bag. She also had time to curl her eyelashes. I'm glad I don't keep lipstick and the lip gloss is always in my coat pocket.

Of course she had to get in trouble over this one. But BOY it was so hard not to laugh!

Speaking of not laughing, we also went to a huge Creche display in our area tonight and Jane was the most obstinate she's been to date! After some too-long delayed discipline, I was talking to Jane very seriously in the corner about when it is time to obey and when it is time to be silly. She was upset and still had tears on her face when we heard a funny noise behind us. Jane interrupts with "Mommy, you fart?"

It was the worst of times, it was the best of times! (I know that's backwards, but it's fitting when you have a toddler!)

Did I mention we were 20 minutes late to church?

Dream Envy

I've been thinking about this for awhile, talked to my sister and Eric about it and that seemed to quench it for a week or two. But some stupid movie brought it back up, that and writing the Christmas Letter (which is another post in and of itself).

dream envy
noun (pl. -vies)
what a dreamer without a dream feels when he/she sees others living their dream


My oldest brother and his wife are living their dream. They went away to grad school, came back not only to Idaho but were able to get the golden job in their hometown and are currently building their dream house.

An amazing friend of mine/old roommate's husband just got a job with the foreign service. They are waiting to hear where they will be posted and will spend their lives living all over the world and serving their God and Country.

Two very different dreams. And I am envious of them both.

All of this and all the questions about job hunting and what our plans are made me ask Eric:
"What are your dreams?" Bless his heart, my husband. He never laughs at me (not out loud anyway, unless I'm already laughing) when I throw out these broad questions in such a simple, matter of fact way in the same way I ask him if he wants water or milk with dinner.

Long answer short, he doesn't really have any. Or not specific ones. And here's the rub of being a peacemaking, passive middle child: I'm too willing to be adaptable, in fact I often prefer it. Since I love everything (music, literature, education, health, art....), I want everything (be a songwriter! write a book! teach! become a yoga instructor/physical therapist/personal trainer! be a painter! or at least have an Etsy shop) . But I want most of it equally as much so I don't make a decision or if I do, it's not backed up by enough love to make me faithful. I stubbornly maintain I'm not fickle. I'm just lacking in fidelity to my own dreams and desires. You could say I dream around.

Is this a bad thing? Could have been really, really, helpful if I'd fallen in love with a man totally driven to run for office or run an orphanage in Romania or be a farmer. Or even a dairyman. But the pair of us are way too "I'll go where you want me to go" kinda people. And here's a lesson I learned way back pre-college, even. Yes, the Lord wants you to submit your will to his. But in order to do that, you gotta have a will in the first place.

So I have dream envy. I really do think I have drive within me. I know how to work hard. I know how to "git 'er dun." I just need to pick a dream.

Shall we take a vote? (that was a joke. kind of.)