Blessings

And ye must give thanks unto God in the Spirit for whatsoever blessing ye are blessed with.
Doctrine and Covenants 46:32

On Sundays I have the privilege of teaching 6 girls ages 11-12 for about 50 minutes. It's really one of the highlights of my week. Besides loving that age of kids, they are not too old to think they are too cool and still really interested in learning, they are also amazing girls. I have come to love each one of them in the fifteen months or so I've been their teacher. A couple of Sundays ago I taught a lesson where I learned more than anyone, which happens most of the time, honestly (which is one reason why I love teaching so much). It was on gratitude, which is the perpetual lesson associated with my health problems this last year.

One of my girls moved up from Round Rock, Texas about a year before we did and she is still adjusting to the cold weather. Another one of my girls is a Minnesota native to the core and she was saying how she was grateful for winter. This led to an interesting discussion because of the scripture italicized above which we had read earlier. If we have the perspective that everything that happens in our lives is a blessing (yes it sounds very Pollyanna, stay with me) and we are grateful for "whatsoever blessing ye are blessed with," then you give those "blessings" power to bless your life.

Like my back. I certainly didn't chose this one and I spent a fair amount of energy this fall languishing in the thought that I didn't want to have the chronic pain challenge my whole life. I wanted to be the one busy and energetic and serving others, not the one on the couch scrapping by. But every time I have started doing as this scripture commands, I was happier, more positive, and closer to the Lord. And I give this "trial" power to be a blessing in my life. We will save the lessons I've learned for my Thanksgiving post and instead mention my adorable husband here.

Every morning we try and have a family devotional before Eric leaves for school. Our thought is that this will help set a pattern for family scripture study when Jane is old enough. And it's a do-able baby step for us. This morning I shared this scripture and my thoughts and Eric said: "See, Jane, some people think being short is a bad thing, but I learned a long time ago it's actually a blessing..." What a cute, little husband I have!

Stuck in a Box

Sometimes life just bites you in the butt...or your butt is stuck in a box...granted, she was wearing cloth so there was plenty of butt to get stuck...




You'll notice a frantic "please" and her version of signing "help" there at the end. Speaking of help, do any of you know how to flip your videos?

Family Photo Shoot

As promised, here are a few of the pictures my sis took in the park near our house. She has such talent, I have no idea why she doesn't do this more often. These were just shot with my plain old camera and I haven't done any editing on them, but I think they are great.

Feeling Totally Justified

Jane's 15 month appointment was on Monday (yes, I've been meaning to post since then ;-) and besides the drama of the hemoglobin and lead test (they milked Jane's finger for blood for 2 minutes and then she was entirely indignant and furious at the idea of putting a band-aid on that finger, tore it off twice...), it was a great visit. I love our clinic and adore at least three of the docs that work there. Monday was with our favorite, Cindy.

So here comes the justification part: since Jane did plenty of crying which gave Cindy plenty of opportunity to peak at her gums. All four of Jane's molars are in and she's now cutting all four of her eye teeth, which are supposed to be much worse. I think I will keep my 15 month old after all, poor dear, and be a little more liberal with the ibruprofen at night.

By the way, I happen to think toddling is the cutest thing ever. I never realized what I a joy it is to watch a baby learn to walk. Jane has been a real go getter and I'm amazed with how much better she gets every day. The Zombie hands are already gone and I wouldn't be surprised if she was running by next week. She's already trying.


As for me, my health, and my sly hints here and there about being pregnant, I have good days and not so good days. I don't have bad days near as often, thankfully, and I'm doing my best to do the things I know make me happy and healthy and trying to figure out more of the ones that will make me more healthy (and thereby more happy?). I am now taking swimming lessons because hopefully no matter what happens to my back or hips, that will be something I can do continually. Being (mostly) past the puke-tastic stage of pregnancy, my desire to eat well is slowly emerging and I have joy again in vegetables. I'm beginning to feel like my disc is mostly healed, it seems like I can sit longer these days and it just feels a bit different. We'll see how Sunday goes.

Some of you may know of my addiction to productivity. I like to do stuff. I like to have visible results of my accomplishments and, for most of my life, accomplishing = positive self worth. I even thought that this was the norm for people, or at least how it should be, until I married Eric.

I've had some withdrawal pains this last year. And I think they are growing pains, too. The biggest lesson, beside relying on the Lord and gratitude for the charity of others (I'm a pro at eating humble pie these days), I have learned (was forced) to slow down and appreciate moments. I'm getting pretty good at being in the moment with her and with my nieces and it makes mothering and life so much more enjoyable. There is a poem I love by Thoreau that has a line "frittered away by detail." I think I have often been guilty of being frittered away by doing.

That's not to say that I'm not itching to get back to doing more than I've been able lately. I'd love to get my house organzied, cute-i-fied, and clean. I'd love to spend a little more time in the kitchen and be able to serve those around me more. But a couple days ago I had a rather strange moment. I was icing my back on my bed and I had no desire to read, to blog, to listen to music, to talk on the phone, to sleep, surf the internet, or even play solitaire. I was tired and I just wanted to do nothing. I have never had that experience before, I've always been too busy.

In posting this, I am a little worried about what my own family will think. It is from that hive of busyness that I am migrating ever so slightly from (ask Eric, I'm still plenty productive crazy). And sometimes I feel like I should be doing more; there's a restlessness that I've somehow caved in and forsaken my own values. I often feel like I need an objective, a project, an ambition beyond the one of survival, gestation, and raising Jane. I keep thinking that my life will never be this "slow" again, that I've got six months before the second one comes and I am outnumbered and overwhelmed. I don't want to waste this time. And I don't know the answer. But I also know that I don't want to lose any more time with a beam of busyness in my eye.

Next post, PICTURES!! As soon as I can find my cord...

15 months and 189 Days to go

Jane is fifteen months old today, anybody want a fifteen month old?

I WANT to say it's that last molar...Eric found blood on her blanket, possibly from last night. She's sleeping now, but then she was up at 4:15, little turd. Eric gave her a drink, rocked, and put her back down and she was mostly quiet, although not sleeping til about 5:00, which is when I got up with her for the day.

My sister mentioned that all of her kids' personalities seemed to change a bit when they started walking...thoughts anyone?

So, in contrast to my words (which are ornery, like Jane this week), and because I've got a Pre-Thanksgiving Feast to prep for (I'm making pumpkin pudding in sugar cookie tart dishes with ginger crumble on top...if it turns out, if not I'm making Trader Joe Stuffing), I'll just post a few pics (which are really sweet, like Jane the rest of the time) and maybe comment on all the wondrous accomplishments of my darling child when I'm feeling more positive and loving.

Blueberries, blueberries, everywhere!!! Jane will eat them in any form, in a box with a fox, in a house with a mouse...

Grandma reading Tumble Bumble, one of Jane's favorites. She said "bumble" the other day and pointed at the book. Jane has at least 30 words she says.

Jane and the Cuz, little bookworms. Right after Grandma snapped this (she thought it was SO cute, Jena and I were a bit less thrilled as they do this all the time, although they don't always read so nicely, usually there is more grabbing of each other's books), Jena pulled out a ball and told the bookworms that they needed to do something more active. That was fun, too.


Joint story-time. Jane's nap has finally moved from the morning to about noon, which is much closer to when Joey takes his, so on this day, they read stories together before nap time, they both LOVE Jena and stories.

A Very Late Halloween Picture or two...

In my defense, I had to wait til my Mom sent me this, which means I had to wait til my younger sister (a very busy senior in high school) could spare a few minutes.Jane saying "Baaa." We really should have gotten a video of it, so cute. She even got her voice to catch, you know Ba-a-a-a-a. Eric is hungry.

This is my mom, my sister just younger than me, my older sister and all her kids, and Jane at our church's Halloween party/Chili Cook-off.
I'm taking the picture. I haven't felt like being in pictures lately...

And here is Jane sans lamb hat and her cutie cousin Superman giving her all the love she's not sure she wants or needs. Those are my legs behind them.

Still Here!

Yikes!
Time got the best of me, apparently.
We are all still here, alive and (mostly) well. Jane had the swine flu for about 4-5 days and is now fully recovered. Eric came down with something else about the same time but I've remained healthy, so to speak ;-) My midwife put me on Tamaflu for ten days as a precaution and tomorrow is the last pill, knock on wood. Neither Jane or I got the H1N1 flu vaccine (although I was strongly urged to, my doc's office only just started getting it and the wait to get one is ridiculous). I've been told that you can get it again, so we might all still get it, but we haven't so far.
In general, H1N1 was pretty tame, you know, for flu. Jane had a high fever for 4 days, a rough week of nights and was too tired and sad to whine most days. The problem with H1N1 is when things get complicated, they go fast and go dire.

I was totally wore out, but we managed to do OK even with my recovering back. Jane and I laid around a lot and read a lot of stories. I think I've mostly recovered from all that sleep deprivation, it made me remember (and fear) what having a newborn is like--that crazy, desperate, out-of-control tired feeling. Instead of falling asleep at 7:30-8:00, I'm back to 8:30-9:00. Except when my mom and sister where in town, which was last week.

We had a ball and it went by WAY too fast. My mom flew in on the 24th for my niece's birthday and left the next Saturday. My sister came last Thursday and left on Sunday. They both got to come to our church's Trunk or Treat party. With all the sickness and stuff, I didn't make all three of us costumes (although I figured out exactly how to do them all). I'm not really supposed to sit down, which makes sewing or crafting anything pretty difficult... so one of my nieces was Little Bo Peep and asked if Jane could be her sheep. We were late to the party (of course) and Bo Peep kept asking people if they had seen her sheep. We made it in time for the costume parade where each kid goes up on stage and introduces themselves and their costume. Eric was sitting in the middle of everybody with Jane when Bo Peep asked the whole crowd if they had seen her sheep. He went running to the stage calling "Here she is! Here she is!" Very cute.

Jane loved being a lamb, her lovey is a lamb and we even taught her to say "baa" with a little catch in her voice. We had a law student party we went to after the trunk or treat party and so Jane actually didn't go trick or treating door to door, but she explored plenty of candy. How do kids know that something sweet is in those little wrappers? Especially when they are so darn picky about everything else they eat... sigh.

Did you notice no pictures?? Yea, I didn't take any. My mom had a schnazzy new camera she was whipping out all the time so I didn't feel inclined to dig mine out. So hopefully I can get her to send me some.

Speaking of my wonderful mom, the time went by WAY too fast. She is such a great mom and an amazing Grandma. She came over, still getting over something herself, and dug me out of my sad excuse for a house. I was in the middle of a few reorganizing projects when my back went, so my closet had pretty much puked all over my bedroom. And I still didn't have anything on the walls. Turns out my mom is the perfect picture hanger upper. And she was such a emotional boost with everything that's been going on. AND she's so cool, she dressed up for Halloween as a scary witch and seriously scared many a child with her cackle, including her own grandkids. Joey wouldn't go to her, Jane cried whenever mom looked at her or got too close and even Lizzy lost it once after that freaky cackle of hers.

I was so glad my sister came , she's such a breath of fresh air. I love the way she sees the world and the energy and perspective she brings. I so enjoyed just talking with her and getting the chance to talk about life in that way you can't do so well over the phone. I love my family!